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Minichan

Topic: A Doctor Named Mark

Anonymous A started this discussion 5 months ago #58,581

Living on the streets of Salford, you definitely meet a fair share of weirdos. Being a bit strange myself, the average wingnuts don't bother me too much, but every once in a while somebody comes along and really freaks you the hell out.

It was last summer at four in the morning, and I was drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette in Greengate Square. No one was out besides a few college kids fucking in the park and the usual homebums. I was halfway through my beer when I saw him..

A man with no shirt or shoes carrying a rusty broom handle walking along the path in my direction. Just how he was walking gave me a weird vibe, from the clink of the broom on every other step to the way he seemed to wave his arms in a swooping motion. He was around fifty feet away when he noticed me, and made direct eye contact.

"YOU!" The man exclaimed as he came running up to me.

"Yes?" I responded as he stood in front of me, panting, with pupils as big as his eyes themselves.

"DOCTOR, I HAVE ALREADY BANISHED YOU FROM HERE, HOW DARE YOU COME BACK MARK!"

At this point I'm confused as hell, I had a lot to drink that night and this guy was obviously on some sort of psychedelics, it looked like PCP.

"Woah dude," I reply, "I think you got the wrong guy. I'm Joe."

"Prove it." He says.

As I go to reach for my ID he promptly begins to scream again.

"NEVERMIND, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS DOCTOR. YOU ARE MARK AND MUST BE STOPPED!"

He then starts screaming random sounds and noises while beating that rusty broom handle on the ground in front of me. Needless to say I grabbed my backpack, hopped on my skateboard, and tried to get the hell away from this nutjob. But as soon as I started my getaway, he was on my heels, chasing me.

"MARK!" is what I heard him yelling as he charged after me down Victoria Bridge Street. "BE GONE!"

I skated my ass off for over ten blocks before he stopped chasing me, and didn't stop until I made it another twenty.

I never met that wingnut again, nor do I want to. Ironically I have been confused for a doctor in a separate incident, but that's a story for another time.

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 5 months ago, 31 minutes later[^] [v] #749,195

Lazily ported from America to Salford.

The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY joined in and replied with this 5 months ago, 4 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,268

@previous (B)

As a purported resident of Salford, I can confirm this.

Anonymous B replied with this 5 months ago, 53 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,282

@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

Everyone knows if you were going to moodily smoke and drink you would just go to the Urbis building.

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 5 months ago, 3 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,284

I was actually up Doc's way (not in that sense, don't get jealous Fuckalms) recently and there's a decent brewery there called Joseph Holt. It does some good pale ales and a nice dark mild. Not pricey either.

The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY replied with this 5 months ago, 11 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,285

@749,282 (B)

You've clearly put a lot of effort into researching an obscure English town that I don't even live in.

Anonymous B replied with this 5 months ago, 3 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,287

@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

I used to live in Eccles.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 5 months ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,292

@OP


Sup, Dave?

Anonymous D replied with this 5 months ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,294

@749,285 (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

> an obscure English town that I don't even live in.

Cool story bro.

The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY replied with this 5 months ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,304

@749,287 (B)

Cool story bro.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 5 months ago, 3 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,307

@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)
Hey doc :) keep trying to pretend you're calm and deny you're the Salford nonce, we know the truth.

Anonymous B replied with this 5 months ago, 4 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,318

@749,304 (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)

Manchester is superior btw salfordlad

The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY replied with this 5 months ago, 8 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #749,332

@749,307 (F)

Okay, I give in! My name is Mark Hesford Hefford, and I live in Salford just like (((Syntax))) told you.

Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo joined in and replied with this 1 month ago, 3 months later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,079

@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)
I think it is.

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 1 month ago, 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,082

Whatever happened to that weird pedophile? Did he slink off back to Tinychan?

Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo replied with this 1 month ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,085

@previous (H)
No, TGdaveSox still posts here.

Anonymous H replied with this 1 month ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,089

@previous (Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo)
You're still here then? Thought you'd left. Never mind, carry on mate.

Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo replied with this 1 month ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,090

@previous (H)
The Big Daddies Derek are everywhere. Thanks.

Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo replied with this 1 month ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #782,091

@previous (Big Daddy Derek !Uvm54ORbmo)
So I've noticed
:
[upload]

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