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Minichan

Topic: The New Minichan Fanfic: Minichanfic.

Green started this discussion 2.7 years ago #41,133

'We must stop him' said Ks. Matt shook his head, 'no, he has grown too powerful he replied. A man in the corner was eating a cornish pasty. 'I can get you in. But it'll cost you' said the mysterious man.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 2.7 years ago, 4 minutes later[^] [v] #546,806

!!!

Another Minichanfic? You're a machine, m8.

vocalon !74TdoRkjCc joined in and replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #546,823

good start, very beestmeel bro-esque.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,828

In his lab, a doctor was studying a new virus. 'No. It can't be. The virus is growing at an incredible rate' said the doctor. The doctor became extremely agitated. 'There is nothing I can do to stop it. It is going to become an epidemic'. The doctor reached for his phone, 'hello Mr President, this is Dr Roberts. I'm afraid I have some bad news. The autism virus will infect 100% of americans by the end of the week'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,829

@previous (Green)
An autism virus? :O

Green, I don't know how you do it, but you just raise the stakes higher every time.

vocalon !74TdoRkjCc replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,831

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
spectacle creep is gonna be the end of the minichanfic, and we're gonna need to reboot it.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,856

'Are we ready for the assault?' asked Ks. Killer Lettuce nodded, 'he's gone bloody insane and he needs to be stopped!' he said. 'He invaded Cornwall and turned it into Tescoland. All the pasty shops have been replaced with with Tescos'. Matt loaded his hotdog gun. 'The fortress is heavily guarded with traffic cones and NHS dentist signs. It will be tough to get in' said Matt. Ks guffawed, 'don't worry. We have an expert of crashing into stores'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 2 hours later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,930

@previous (Green)
The pasty shops are gone?! FUCK

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 19 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,940

'I need to make it to the MTG tournament' said Fake_anon excitedly. He put on his kipper and headed out the door. 'What a glorious day to be a Jew!' he chirped. He tipped his kipper at Carebear, 'm'lady' he winked. Carebear ran towards him flapping her arms. 'Oh Yahweh no' he said running from her enthusiastic embrace. But he wasn't fast enough. Carebear flapped her arms at him. 'What?' asked Fake_anon. 'I need to get to the MTG tournament. Wait no. I want to play Sonic. No. What's ha-happening? I am going home to play Sonic'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,944

@previous (Green)
Oh hell, looks like Fake anon has become autistic.

I am enjoying how all of these openings present our protagonists facing a different crisis. How will they overcome all of this???

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 23 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,954

'Charge!' commanded Killer Lettuce as the party went into the fray of battle. The party valiantly fought the reternalists. The party made it to the main gate. 'It's a giant window' remarked Matt. Matt took
out a cricket bat to gain entry. The party made it to the main hall. 'You have come' said Green, 'and you shall meet your deaths' he said maliciously. Ks cried in despair. 'Green. You have gone too far! What happened to you. You used to be a hero'. Green wept. 'I lost my Falco. Now this world will pay for this'. The party braced themself. 'Ha. Pitiful' said Green slyly, 'you stand no chance against the new queen of England. Kook! Come deal with the intruders'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,955

@previous (Green)
Oh, is this set after the Minichanfic where Falco sacrifices himself?

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 5 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #546,956

'I can see the universe and the fabric of time' said Meowth as he drank a bottle of DXM cough syrup. 'I can travel anywhere' he said. Meowth started to become a time travel enthusiast. 'I must save the other oracle'. Meowth travelled to the psychiatric ward in Oregon. 'Hello Meowth' said a voice. 'Brie!' replied Meowth gleefully. Brie high-fived Meowth. Suddenly they heard screaming. 'His arms are blue! HIS FUCKING ARMS ARE BLUE!'. Brie and Meowth looked on in astonishment. 'Is that the wizard?' questioned Meowth. Brie grabbed Meowth's shoulder, 'there is nothing we can do for him now. Quick, give me some DXM. We need to get out of here before we catch the autism virus!'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 15 hours later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #547,077

Kook whistled to her pitbull, 'destroy them!' she said vindictively. Ks pulled out his gun and shot the pitbull, however, the bullets ricocheted off it like vegetables on McWalter's tongue. 'It's robotic' Kook chortled. The robotic pitbull gained on the party, suddenly, two men apparated...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,119

'Stop!' shouted Brie. The party was flabergasted. Green's heart was full of defiance. 'No! I want my Falco!' he roared. Brie did a little jig and slapped his bum. 'Thern is a way you can save Falco!' he said mysticly. Green shook his head, 'no Falco is gone forever. You told me to sacrifice him to the timeloops'. Brie's jaw became agape, 'I told you no such thing. I have been in Oregon the past year'. Postmortem spun around in circles, 'what is going on?'. Brie began to pontificate, 'I know what happened. to4str trolled you into sacrificing Falco to the timeloops, but his highness caused the very timeloops you tried to prevent'. Kook nodded, 'quite logical and clever'. Green was full of hope, 'how do we save Falco then?' he asked. Brie's face was full of dread. 'You must create a paradox. You must go back in time and kill Falco'...

kook !!mCVqftDha joined in and replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,192

@547,077 (Green)
You fucker. We are now at war.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 16 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,200

@previous (kook !!mCVqftDha)
Hey, bud, made you the Queen of England.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 27 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,207

@547,192 (kook !!mCVqftDha)
Why?

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 24 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,209

'You fucker' said Kook, 'we are now at war'. 'No time' replied Brie. Brie and Meowth grabbed Green and teleported him. Brie gave Green a gun. 'This is the place where you first killed Falco. You must kiss yourself to create a paradox and save Falco' said Brie. Green approached his past self and shot him...

kook !!mCVqftDha replied with this 2.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,262

@547,207 (Green)
You gave me a fucking pitbull.

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU joined in and replied with this 2.7 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,268

@previous (kook !!mCVqftDha)
Robotic pit bull

kook !!mCVqftDha replied with this 2.7 years ago, 25 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,275

@previous (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)
It should have been a yorkie or rat terrier!

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.7 years ago, 36 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,276

@previous (kook !!mCVqftDha)
Robotic Yorkie or rat terrier

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,440

@547,262 (kook !!mCVqftDha)
You asked for a pitbull on irc!

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,450

Everything started fading. 'What's happening?' asked Green. Brie started backflipping, 'you went back in time and killed yourself, creating a paradox. It will prevent the timeloops from ever happening'. Green awoke in Tesco, 'what's happening? Where am I?' he flustered. 'You're exactly where you were; in Cornwall. This is where everyone gathers whenever something important happens' replied Brie. 'The paradox prevented the timeloop catastrophe from ever happening. That means...'. Smoke started to fill the room. 'I'm back smoke weed everyday'. It was Falco, ripping on a bong. 'No! Fuck this!' Ks said in a rage, 'I fucking quit. This is a copout and crappy writi-' but before he could finish, he was bitten by a giant rat terrier. 'It's Kook!' screamed Killer Lettuce in horror, 'what happened to that awesome robotic pitbull Green gifted her?'. Meowth got out a chalkboard and drew some diagrams. 'That reality never happened, therefore she never became Queen'. The party shook in sheer scared...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,457

Bert was making his way to Wendy's. 'triptych..where are....you?' he cried. After years of searching Triptych had finally appeared. 'triptych...it's you..why are you..flapping your..arms?' Triptych hit Bert with her flapping arms. 'what's..happeni..Thomas....the..tank...engine..'..

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,460

@previous (Green)
Aw fuck- the autism virus!

I hope that the wizard recovers, at least.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #547,469

'We must escape' said Killer Lettuce in angst, 'Cornwall is fighting another idiotic war. This time they are at war with sand'. The party dashed out Tesco with Kook hot on their heels. Suddenly, they felt an earthquake and heard music. 'What, in Oblivion, is that?!' asked Matt. A gargantuan figure loomed over the horizon. 'Thomas...the....tank engine'... Postmortem's penis stood erect in fear, 'that's Bert! Is he wearing a Thomas the Tank Engine Mask'. 'No' said Green. Postmortem snortled, 'what do you mean, no?'. 'I mean no. My waters have just broke'...

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,512

'He's going into labour!' said Kook excitedly, 'out the way, I know how to deal with this. Matt, you distract Bert. Matt dressed up as Triptych and lured Bert away. 'Push Green!' said Kook
forcefully. Green pushed hard and almost exploded his veins. Finally, after much struggle, Green gave birth. Falco smiled at Green. 'Green. You're a father' said Falco with joyous tears. 'Lets name him Stickybuns' said Green, grinning with glee. Falco wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed Green on the forehead and whispered 'this is the happiest day of my life' into Green's ear. 'Oh hi Mark' said Killer Lettuce. 'Let me be the first to congratulate you' said Fake_anon autistically as he flapped his arms on Green's back. 'What's happening?' asked Green discombobulatedly. 'Why are his arms blue?'. Falco grabbed the baby. Meowth approached the party, 'we have to get out of here. He has turned autistic'. The party fled and left Green. Falco looked at Green one last time, 'we will find a cure. When we do, we'll come back for you. I promise'...

kook !!mCVqftDha replied with this 2.7 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,563

@547,450 (Green)
I am in love with you.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 15 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,564

The party ran to yonder hill. 'What do we do?' asked Postmortem, 'how do we find a cure?'. The party stopped in an abandoned alley. 'I know how to stop it' said a shadowy figure. 'Bloody hell. It's Dr Roberts. Battle formations!' announced Killer Lettuce. Dr Roberts put his hands in the air like he just don't care. 'I'm not hear to fight you. I want to help'. Matt snickered, 'you? You want to help us why?'. Dr Roberts sighed, 'if everybody gets autism, I will have to do some actual psychology. I know how to stop this. We need to find and kill patient zero'. Ks pontificated, 'there's only one person that could be'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,565

The party were cream crackered so decided to rest into a hotel. They booked in and went 2 to a room. 'Yes!' said Matt in ecstasy, 'the mini-bar has cheap wine'. Ks tutted, 'you should try going sober my friend'. Falco was lighting a doob, but his eyes were drawn to Postmortem. 'You have a very muscular body' said Falco as he lubed up. Postmortem winked, 'I am an adonis'. Falco went up to Postmortem and put a finger on his lips. 'I want you'. Postmortem moved Falco's hand away, 'what about Green?'. Falco smiled, 'he doesn't have to know. I want a taste of the golden god' said Falco as he and Postmortem started kissing...

dw joined in and replied with this 2.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,578

@547,450 (Green)
this is basically the plot of days of future past

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,581

@previous (dw)
What is that?

dw replied with this 2.7 years ago, 21 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,591

@previous (Green)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1877832/

Green (OP) replied with this 2.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,592

@previous (dw)
I got the plot from Doctor Who.

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.7 years ago, 10 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,703

The party arose early dawn. 'We must head for America' declared Ks, 'that is where Leonidas will be'. The party commandered a ferry and set sail for America. Postmortem and Falco went to the poop deck. 'I love you more than anything' Falco said to Postmortem. 'As I you' replied Postmortem. 'It's time to officially consummate our love' said Falco. Postmortem winked, 'poopy pants time?'. Falco did a little jig and slapped his bum, 'pooped my pant hasn't yours'. Postmortem and Falco engaged in poopy pant time. 'Land ahoy!' shouted Meowth. The party laid anchor in America. 'Things could get dangerous' said Brie, 'we need to find a babysitter for Stickybuns'. Matt phoned someone. 'McWalter has agreed to babysit Stickybuns'. The party walked to the nearest McDonalds and left Stickybuns with McWalter. Falco gave his baby a bottle of cider. The party then ventured towards 9gag HQ...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.7 years ago, 11 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,815

The party approached 9gag HQ and were stopped by the guards. Falco took a shit on them. The 9gag army were numerous and soon encumbered the party. Suddenly Killer Lettuce started to seize and shake. 'What's happening?' asked Kook. 'Stay back!' said Brie, 'he is being overwhelmed by da roodness'. Killer Lettuce started dancing. 'Oh yeah, cos I'm a rood boi' he rapped. The 9gagger were exploded by the confusion, the party ventured inside and spotted Leonidas on his throne...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.7 years ago, 13 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,820

'Haha, so the neurotypicals have arrived!' laughed Leonidas. Ks was full of feistiness, 'you are patient zero, once we kill you, the autism will stop. Please accept this and die!' spoke Ks. Leonidas guffawed, 'you think I am patient zero? What a laugh! I was born autistic. The virus has no effect on us. No, I created the virus! Extracted from my blood; the essence of pure autism. I then took the blood of Chris Chan and diehard bronies. I had the elixir of autism. I then injected it into ninjj, my sworn enemy. He is patient zero. I will finally have my revenge when his own friends kill him! Then, the ginger-haired midget will be mine!'. Meowth clenched his fists with pure rage, 'we will stop you Leonidas. I am tripping on DXM'. Leonidas snapped his fingers, 'I think not. Bronies, deal with these neurotypical pests!'...

Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 2.7 years ago, 12 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #547,992

The bronies surrounded the party. 'Don't let them touch you!' said Killer Lettuce. The party was in fear, for there was no way out. Suddenly, a man dressed as Batman appeared. 'dwdraad' said the man. 'It's Dreamworks!' said Postmortem in relief. Dreamworks used his dutch oven to clear the way for the party to get out. 'Through the side-tunnel!' commanded Kook. The party ran along the tunnel, but they were met with a locked door. 'This will take a few minutes' said Killer Lettuce. However, the bronies were gaining on the party through the tunnel. 'I'll find the time you need' said Ks with valour. He snorted some meth and ran into the bronies head first. 'Almost there' said Killer Lettuce. Ks was maced started to flap his arms, 'I'm glad you guys are my friends, because friendship is magic' he said. 'No!' said Postmortem. 'Done' said Killer Lettuce. Postmortem approached Ks, but was pulled back by Dr Roberts, 'there is nothing we can do, that mace is a super-concentrated form of the virus. Ks is overwhelmed by autism'. Postmortem shrugged Dr Roberts off, 'he has been like a father to me!' he cried. Ks put on a fedora, 'I'll hold them back', he said with tears streaming down his face, 'you get out and kill Ninjj. My little pony, my little pony'...

Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 5 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,034

The party escaped from the autistic asylum. 'No fear', chortled Leonidas, 'captain Autphag, commander Shitarse, find the neurotypicals'. Shitarse and Autphag donned their trenchcoats and fedoras, 'the spergian race shall reign supreme!' proclaimed Autphag. 'Killer Lettuce shall fall to my political logic and reasoning!' declared Shitarse. The duo then got into autismobile...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 51 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,048

This is probably my favourite part yet. No joke, m8.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,066

'We need to check on Stickybuns' said Falco. The party started to travel back to McDonalds, however, they were cut off by Autphag and Shitarse. 'The Jews caused the autism virus with their baby innoculations!' shouted Shitarse. Autphag nodded, 'this is a feminist conspiracy'. Killer Lettuce was ready. 'You're wrong Shitarse!' chuckled Killer Lettuce. 'You're infallible logic won't work this time!' replied Shitarse. Shitarse went up to Killer Lettuce and bit him. Killer Lettuce started to shake. 'What's happening? I'm transforming. I'm no longer Killer Lettuce. I am Killer LettArse'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 2 days later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,890

'The Jews are controlling the pasties, tractors are a feminist conspiracy!' said Killer LettArse. 'RUN!' shouted Matt, 'he is too powerful!'. The party all got on Matt's electric scooter. Team Conspiracy got on Killer LettArse's tractor and chased the party, fortunately the tractor was too slow. The party made it to McDonalds. McWalter was there, but no sign of Stickybuns. 'McWalter, where is my baby?' asked Falco frantically. McWalter just stared at him coldly. Falco got out a pistol and pistol-whipped McWalter, but McWalter just sat there. 'What's wrong with you?' asked Falco. Matt checked McWalter's pulse, 'he's dead'...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 55 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,900

'I saw it all' said a british voice. 'TTEH!' said Brie excitedly. TTEH tipped his fedora. 'McWalter ate your baby then had a heart attack'. Matt looked at the newspaper on McWalter's table, in a bold headline it said 'McDONALDS TO CLOSE 50 STORES!'. Matt wept. 'What do we do about my baby?' asked Falco. Meowth became lost in deep thought, 'McWalter's stomach is a black hole. If we enter it, we may find Stickybuns' Meowth said. The party penetrated McWalter's black hole and were transported to a strange place. 'No' said TTEH, 'it can't be'. 'Where are we?' asked Matt. 'This is impossible' continued TTEH. 'Where are we?' asked Matt firmly. TTEH trembled in terror, 'we are in Milton Keynes'...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 10 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #548,901

Leonidas was playing Sonic in his autistic asylum. Shitarse and Autphag returned with the autistic party. 'Wow, it's Leonidas!' said Green. Killer Lettarse winked, 'he was always my favourite poster'. Ks did a little jig and slapped his bum, 'thrill yourself Leonidas'. Leonidas chortled. 'Haha. My plan has almost reached fruition. The autistic bomb is almost ready. When it blows up, 100% of the world will be autistic. But first, I need
you to find a ginger midget'...

Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 12 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,015

'Milton Keynes is a myth, a story to scare we brits' explained TTEH, 'nobody believes the city exists'. 'Matt said we find Stickybuns and get out' said Matt. TTEH had a look of discontent on his face, 'we can't, nobody who goes to Milton Keynes makes it out. Wait. Where is Falco?'...

Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,017

'And now I push the button' said Leonidas maniacally. Killer Lettuce and Green were smiling hard. Ks run and tipped over Leonidas' throne and shot him in the head. 'Wha-what, but how?' asked Leonidas autistically dying. Ks did a little jig and slap his bum. 'I found the cure. It is a bottle of scotch with bacon and eggs. The manliest drink and food. All washed down with a glass of milk' Ks threw scotch and bacon and eggs to Killer Lettuce. They ate them up and were cured of autism. Falco ran up to Green. 'Green, I slept with Postmortem' he said. Green shook with rage, 'you bastard. I want a divorce' he shouted.
'The End '

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,020

@previous (Green)
N-no! This can't be the end! What about Stickybuns? What about the party members still trapped in Milton Keynes?!

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,027

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
The story itself became too autistic. The sequel will have less autism.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 17 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,030

@previous (Green)
The sequel??? Hooray!

Although, personally, I found the autistic elements amusing.

vocalon !74TdoRkjCc replied with this 2.6 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,090

minichanfic needs a patreon so green can buy more alcohol

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 2.6 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,158

@previous (vocalon !74TdoRkjCc)
Do you think he will accept NZ dollars?

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,177

Judgement Day
'Is the machine ready, Jeeves?' asked the man. Jeeves nodded, 'it needs a bit more refinement. The man started to drink, smoke and listen to Rock 'n' Roll sinfully. 'Soon, I will become a god. I shall summon the dark lord and he shall rise again. As soon as the machine is ready, we will go back in time and kill baby Jesus'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 7 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,308

'We're lost' said TTEH dismally, 'nobody ever finds their way out of MK'. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder, 'is this your baby?' said a mysterious man. 'Stickybuns!' said TTEH with relief, 'wait, it's you! It can't be'...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,311

Falco pulled a dildo out of his arse and winked. Green smiled with intense joy, 'you strapped that on and used it on John? So you have been faithful to me!'. Falco did a little jig and slapped his bum, then he drank a gallon of cum. 'Green, I think we should marry Postmortem' he said. Green shot his butt beads in Leonidas' face due to intense excitement. 'But Falco, that's impossible' said Green. Falco put on his special underwear and took out a book, 'not if we become Mormons' he replied. 'Did someone say Mormons?'...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #549,790

'Yes, it is I, Sim, and here is your baby Stinkybums' said Sim. TTEH saluted and shat the queen. 'Do you know how to escape Milton Keynes?' asked TTEH. Sim guffawed, 'ha ho ha ho, no one escapes Milton Keynes, it is the afterlife for us brits!'. TTEH was full of disdain, but was struck by an idea. 'But we are not dead'. Sim looked puzzled and then he ran away shouting 'get fucked' Postmortem became lost in an abyss of anguish, 'I think we should kill ourselves'. Postmortem tied the party up with rope and dragged them in front of the train. The train killed the party...

(Edited 55 seconds later.)

Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 14 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,074

'Yes, it is I, Becky' said Becky. Falco and Green were full of fear so they ran into a wall. 'I will be the priest for your Mormon marriage' said Becky. Falco and Green high-fived because they were excited about some sexy Postmortem. Suddenly, the party heard a groaning. Leonidas had risen from the dead. 'Ugh. I want brains and Sonic games' he groaned. Ks shot him but he didn't die. 'What the fuck are we still doing in this place?' asked Ks, 'quick, we need to get out!'...

Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,102

TTEH arose in McDonalds, 'we..we lived. Postmortem, how did you know that would happen?'. Postmortem stroked his chin, 'I didn't'. 'Dying in the afterlife must have transported us back to the real life' said Kook. The party stepped outside, 'we must find Falco and Green' said TTEH. Suddenly a giant tv screen floated in the sky. 'This is your new world ruler, the antichrist, Richard Dawkins. Atheists now make up 51% of the world population. This is the one world religion now and signals the apocalypse and rise of Satan. I am going back in time to kill baby Jesus!'. The party stood in shock, 'that Satan worshipping bastard!' said Kook. 'We need to get to Cornwall and stop him!' commanded TTEH...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 30 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,110

@previous (Green)
Dawkins!!!

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,111

@548,900 (Green)
I have a question- did McWalter have a heart attack because McDonalds were closing the 50 stores, or are they closing the stores because McWalter had a heart attack?

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,123

Killer Lettuce, Green, Becky, Falco and Ks hijacked a submarine and set sail for Cornwall. 'We are seamen' he said as he ejaculated in Green's ear. They arrived on land and were greeted with a familiar sight. Falco and Green's penises saluted Postmortem. Becky got out her Book of Mormon and started the wedding procedures. The wedding was going smoothly, until Becky asked, 'is there anyone here who objects?'. 'I DO!' shouted a voice, 'forgetting someone?'. It was Matt. Green came so hard it went back into his body and came out his mouth. 'I now pronounce you husband, husband, wife and wife. You day now have sex right here' pronounced Becky pronounced as one word. The foursome made a very good sex...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 7 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,265

'Now we stop Dawkins' said Killer Lettuce. The fully reunited party car-jacked a bus and headed for the science musuem in London. The party crashed the bus into the museum and went to the top floor. Dawkins stepped into the time machine. 'Dawkins, you atheist bastard!' shouted Meta, 'don't do this'. Dawkins chuckled, 'no, once I kill the baby Jesus, atheism will be the only religion. I shall be the prophet of Satan!'. Killer Lettuce clenched his fists in unfathomable rage. He then was over-whelmed by the holy spirit, 'we are prayer warriors' proclaimed Killer Lettuce, 'we will stop you!'. Dawkins went into the time portal and the party followed...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 16 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,454

'Where are Killer Lettuce and Meta?' asked Green. 'I don't think they made it through the portal in time' replied Ks, 'lets follow that star'. The party followed the star through the desert to an inn in Bethlehem. The party spotted Dawkins outside the inn. 'Falco, Postmortem and I, we shall go in the inn and protect the baby Jesus. The rest, get Dawkins' said Green...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,565

Postmortem, Green and Falco entered the inn. 'Sorry, there is no more room' said the innkeeper. Falco was high as a kite, 'urgh. We're 3 wise men, we are here to see the baby' he said. The innkeeper was bewildered, but let them in. The trio went into the stables to protect the baby Jesus. 'Who are you?' asked Mary. 'Ugh, 3 wise men' replied Green. Postmortem handed them his gold sex medallion, 'this is gold'. Falco handed them a bag of weed, 'this is frankincense' he winked. Green handed them a bottle of Tesco Value Cider, 'and this is myhrr'. Suddenly, the trio heard a banging at the door. 'We have him' said Ks. Dawkins was bound in rope. 'If I can't kill baby Jesus, I shall stop him being crucified!' shouted Dawkins. Dawkins then disappeared and the time portal appeared. 'Quickly' said Ks, 'back through the time portal'. Green, Postmortem and Falco had solemn looks on their faces. 'No', they said, 'we must remain here and protect Jesus from Dawkins'. Ks confronted them in apprehension 'we don't know when or if this time portal will open again'. Green was conflicted but said, 'we have to stay'. Matt handed them a device. 'This is a universal translator, invaluable throughout my travels in China'. Falco and Green thanked Matt. The party then travelled back through the portal, leaving Green, Falco and Postmortem in the past...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,568

@550,111 (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
bump

Green plz

(Edited 10 seconds later.)

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,569

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
McWalter died of a heart attack due to the McDonalds stores closing. Apparently a gentleman named 'henn' loved KFC so much that they closed the McDonalds stores to build new KFCs.

(Edited 27 seconds later.)

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 47 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,577

For many years Falco, Green and Postmortem protected Jesus from Dawkins. Until Jesus turned 16. 'What the fuck is this book?' asked Jesus, 'and what the fuck is with all this butter?'. Green sighed, 'you shouldn't have read that' he said. Green started crying. 'A Tesco won't be built for around 2000 years!' he said as he drank his water. 'Give me that water' said Jesus as he zapped it, 'this is Tesco Value Cider!' said Green excitedly...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,578

@550,569 (Green)
thnx. ilu.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #550,581

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
You and your drugs. We don't judge.

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #551,117

Over the years, Green and Falco looked after Jesus. Until one day, Jesus went to
the desert for forty days and nights. There, Dawkins tempted Jesus to turn rocks into bread and to jump off of mountains. Months past until it was time for Jesus' crucifixion. Postmortem, Falco and Green enjoyed the last supper. Jesus predicted the roosters crowing, for he had read it in the Bible. The day came when Jesus was betrayed by Judas and taken to Pilate. Green, Falco and Postmortem escorted Jesus to Pilate, but were surprised when they arrived. 'Dawkins!' shouted Green...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 10 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,272

'You can't change the past' shouted Green. Dawkins spun his fedora, 'Jesus is free to go!' he said to the roman soldiers. 'Jesus must die!' said Falco. Dawkins scarpered and Green and Falco gave chase. 'Sigh, looks like I'll have to imitate Pilate' said Postmortem, 'I of course, am the greatest person ever, so can easily pose as a great roman general!'. Postmortem interrogated Jesus as it said in the Bible. And Jesus was crucified...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 16 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,279

'I guess we won't find Dawkins' said Green, 'come quickly, Jesus is dying'. Falco and Green went to the cross to see Jesus. 'Goodbye Jesus!' said Falco and Green. 'There is one last thing I can do for you' replied Jesus. Jesus clapped his hands and a portal appeared, 'it will take you back to the future'. Green and Falco stepped towards the portal. 'I'm staying' said a voice. It was Postmortem running over the hill naked. 'Postmortem, get your white ass in the portal'. Postmortem shook his head, 'someone needs to make sure you two don't feature in the Bible. Timeloops and all that. I am staying behind to write the gospel according to John'. Falco and Green cried and kissed Postmortem tenderly on the heads. Green turned to Jesus one last time, 'you'll rise from the dead in 3 days time because the servers in heaven are laggy'. Dawkins appeared and jumped through the portal with Falco and Green following him..

Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 23 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,603

I removed fedora from my ignore list.

(Edited 4 minutes later.)

Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 21 seconds later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,604

I added the word fedora to my ignore list, I apologise for the duplicate posts.

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

Green (OP) septuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 38 seconds later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,606

Sorry for the flood.

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

Green (OP) octuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 17 seconds later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #551,607

'What the hell happened?' asked Green as he and Falco walked on scorched earth. 'Haha!' chortled Dawkins, 'my followers have prevailed!'. Falco became overwhelmed with spirituality, 'what do you mean?'. Dawkins twirled his fedora, 'I gave orders to my followers that if I fail in destroying Jesus, they were to perform a ritual bringing about the rapture, so that we could kill God and everyone would worship me! And they succeeded. Isn't that right, Killer Lettuce?'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw (OP) nonuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 2 days later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #552,194

'Indeed' said Killer Lettuce, 'but I couldn't have done done it without my mate Meta'. Green had an epilepsy of betrayal, 'u wot m8?' questioned Green, 'you mean you mean you are atheists?'. Falco made a vesuvius of diarrhea into Green's mouth to try and calm him down. 'Yes' said Meta, 'we are atheists and we shall take you warriors of Christ down!'...

Green (OP) decuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #552,760

Suddenly our heroes heard a loud buzzing. 'What the fuck are those? Locusts?' pondered Killer Lettuce. 'No' replied Green in shock, 'they are scythers!'. Green pulled out his pokeball and sent out his shiny aerodactyl. It used rock slide and KOd the scythers. Then frogs fell from the sky. 'Fuck' said Killer Lettuce, 'god is bringing out plagues for the apocalypse. Don't you see how evil he is now?'. Green and Falco nodded, 'we need to stop Yahweh'. Suddenly Stickybuns started glowing. 'Oh my God' said Meta, 'he has turned into Jesus!'...

Green (OP) undecuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #552,810

Jesus went up to Falco and Green and healed them, making them young again. 'I used the last of my regeneration power' said Jesus. Falco was astonished, 'you're The Doctor?'. Jesus winked. 'We will pick up the party in the TARDIS and travel to heaven'. Dawkins pulled out a gun, 'this is a dimensional pistol, the only thing that can kill Yahweh'. Suddenly Satan burst in and started throwing cans of Pepsi at the party. 'I am evil' said Satan. Jesus used his holy power to subdue Satan. The party got into the TARDIS and picked up the party and travelled to heaven...

Anonymous B replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #552,811

@previous (Green)
I really enjoyed Satan as a character. His motivations were very clear.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 52 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #552,833

The TARDIS could only materialise outside the pearly gates. Falco took ten viagras and rammed the door down with his penis and they headed for Yahweh's throne. 'Why does everyone here look sad?' asked Ks. Killer Lettuce nodded, 'because they have to spend eternity with an egomaniacal tyrant'. The party made it to Yahweh's throne room. Becky gave a subpoena to him, 'we are suing you for bringing about armegeddon!'. Yahweh took out a gun and shot Jesus. Falco was embravened by blasphemy, 'you bastard you killed your own son and a true hero'. Yahweh laughed, 'no one can stop me!'. Meta became euphoric, 'if you were really omniscient and omnipotent you would have known we were coming to stop you and would've done something about it!'. Dawkins tipped his fedora and Yahweh shot lightning out his fingers. 'Everyone, get out!' shouted Fake_anon, 'he is too powerful'. Kimmo had a look of discontent on his face, 'how do we stop him?'. Matt did the fandango and slapped his bum, 'I know a way'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 16 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,150

'I have friends who died and went to heaven who can rig up the dimensional pistol into a bomb. It will blow up heaven and everyone in it' explained Matt. Ks nodded, 'make it so'. Matt freed his comrades and they started working on the bomb. 'It's ready' said Matt, 'the only problem is it isn't on a timer, it needs to be activated manually. Someone needs to stay behind'. Green stepped forward, 'I'll do it'. Fake_anon shook his head, 'no Green. Let Matt do it'. Green was defiant, 'no, he killed my Stickybuns. I have to stay. I'll give you enough time to get to the TARDIS'. The party ran towards. he TARDIS. 'You go to Falco'. Falco roared, 'no, I won't leave you behind. I can't live without you. We'll do this together!'...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 6 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,262

The party ran towards the TARDIS. 'It's gone!' exclaimed Becky. She picked up a note, 'I owe you one TARDIS~Catherine'. Ks started to become methurious, 'what do we do?'. Killer Lettuce looked at his watch, 'activating final countdown timer. When it reaches zero, the engines will detonate. The explosion will generate a temperature of almost 100,000,000 degrees. Don't be there when it blows. Calculating alternate escape route. The ship's inventory shows one Longsword
fighter still docked in Launch Bay 7 . If we move now, we can make it!' he said...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,266

@previous (Green)
> Killer Lettuce looked at his watch, 'activating final countdown timer. When it reaches zero, the engines will detonate. The explosion will generate a temperature of almost 100,000,000 degrees. Don't be there when it blows. Calculating alternate escape route. The ship's inventory shows one Longsword fighter still docked in Launch Bay 7 . If we move now, we can make it!' he said...
Oh my god. Yes. I love you.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,323

The party jumped into a warthog and Ks started driving toward the longsword fighter. 'Heaven has free wi-fi' chirped Dawkins, 'it is just as I expected. Yahweh or 'God' as he likes to be called, is no deity! He is, in fact the emperor of an alien race called the 'Anunnaki'. In a sense, he did create us. Well, he spliced Anunnaki DNA with our mammal ancestors. He intended to create a race of slaves. Heaven is a slave ship! Yahweh only takes the least sinful people to heaven, sinners may oppose him and create a rebellion'. Kook nodded, 'it all makes sense now'. The party made it to the longsword fighter and got in it....

(Edited 16 seconds later.)

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,422

'Stop!' said Yahweh, 'you can rule the world with me!'. Falco lit up a doob, 'smoke weed every day' he said. 'You killed Jesus, though he was but a man, he had the wisdom of a God' added Green. Yahweh laughed, 'I am the only God. You will bow down and worship me!'. Green looked at Falco 'poopy pant time?' he asked. Falco winked, 'pooped my pant hasnt yours' he replied. As Falco and Green held hands and pressed the detonator button together, blowing up heaven...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 13 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,724

'We're going to have to ride the blast radius out' said Ks, 'heaven is in another dimension. It has a symbiotic relationship with ours. The explosion should throw us back to our universe. Hold on to your fedoras!'. The party rode out the explosion and arrived next to the moon. 'Time to announce Yahweh's defeat to the world!' said Dawkins excitedly...

Green (OP) quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 45 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,729

'Peoples of the world, religion is no more ', Dawkins announced in front of a large audience of news reporters. The apocalypse has been stopped. Two noble heroes; Falco and Green, gave their lives to thwart Yahweh. I am commisionning a giant 10 mile statue of Falco and Green shitting on each other whilst they club squirrels with giant dildos'. The crowd applauded, however the applause was cut short by an interruption. 'SATAN!' shouted Killer Lettuce...

Green (OP) quintuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 48 minutes later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #553,733

'Calm down everyone!' said Satan, 'I have just come to announce my retirement from evil. Now that Yahweh is dead, there is no point in being evil. I have also made hell into a holiday resort. Come and meet the most evil people in history'. McWalter wet his pants in excitement, 'I want to meet Hitler!' he said gleefully. 'McWalter, you're alive!' said Killer Lettuce in astonishment. 'Yes, someone called an ambulance and they defibrilated me. Thanks for leaving me there' replied McWalter. 'I am giving a 20% discount to Ks and his friends!'. Suddenly they felt the ground shaking benfth their feet. 'It's Bert!' shouted Fake_anon. 'Wrong. SHALOM!' It's Yahweh!'...

Green (OP) sextuple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #554,125

'You think a god would die?' began Yahweh, 'no! I fell to the earth wounded, but one Kimmo Alm healed me and gave me this robot suit'. Kimmo winked. 'Green and Falco died in vain. My plan failed, however I shall summon my annunaki army to take this whole planet by force. Satan laughed, 'you won't win this time Yahweh. 10s of millions of years ago I challenged your authority. I was the ruler of this planet. I am the reptilian emperor. Your annunaki are no match for the combined forces of humanity and the reptilian empire!'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #554,132

@previous (Green)
Ah, the reptilians. I knew they'd be mixed up in this.

Green (OP) replied with this 2.6 years ago, 15 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #554,143

'Ah, the reptilians. I knew they'd be
mixed up in this' said Killer Lettuce. Suddenly, thousands of annunaki ships descended to earth. 'No fear, my reptilians shall destroy them. The reptilians were no match for the annunaki however. 'Oh, we're fucked' said Ks despairingly. An idea flashed into Killer Lettuce's mind. 'No. We can win if we gain control of the 10 mile satellites'...

Green (OP) double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 33 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #554,178

The party hi-jacked a fucking jet and travelled to cardiff by the sea. 'Syntax, you old bastard!' shouted Matt, 'we need your 10 mile satellites'. Syntax laffed, 'so thee thy or eye need my help'. Killer Lettuce became furious, 'we need the satellite command consoles to defeat Yahweh' Killer Lettuce shouted. 'What about Allah?' asked Syntax. 'We're not going there' replied Dawkins. 'God isn't a person' said Ks, 'it is an idea. God is the totality of the universe, all of time. The culmination of life. I have done a ton of mescaline'. Suddenly the party heard a blast. 'Forget Green and Falco' said Vocalon and Triptych, 'maybe it's time for a new set of heroes!'. Killer Lettuce snarked, 'no. No it is not!'...

Green (OP) triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 47 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #554,203

Suddenly some aliens crashed into Syntax's apartment. 'Don't do it. We are the pleiadians. We are the light. We can help bring you to a higher conciousness'. Killer Lettuce was dumbfounded. Enemies surrounded the flat. 'Matt, Triptych and Fake_anon are dead' said Ks, 'they died defending you and the satellite command console, Killer Lettuce. Can it save us?'. Reptilians broke in through in through the windows. 'Tell them the truth, Killer Lettuce. Pushing that button can end this war by killing Yahweh and all his armies. It will also kill Satan and his reptilian armies. You press that button and the earth will explode. The 10 mile satellites were a weapon designed to destroy the earth as a last defence. You press that button, you will destroy the scourge and villainry of this universe'. Killer Lettuce fumbled about with the button and finally decided to push it...

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 2.6 years ago, 3 days later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,508

Does anybody mind if I finish this?

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 25 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,527

@previous (H)
No! Sorry, but only Green has sheer writing skills to properly end this now.

Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 2.6 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,531

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
But I want to take it into bold new directions!

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 14 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,561

@previous (I)
I dunno, man, what sort of directions? Green's fanfic's are carefully sculpted masterpieces in the form of text. His vision might not hold up under outside influence.

Hey, I have a solution: why not do a Minichanfic fanfic?

Anonymous H replied with this 2.6 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,574

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
We shall see.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #555,589

Externally hosted image@previous (H)

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #556,194

'WARNING! 10 MYLE SATELYTES ACTIVATED! FIRING SEQUENCE INITIATES IN T-MINUS 1 MINUTE!' announced the 10 mile satellites. 'We need to evacuate from the planet!' said Killer Lettuce as the party started running. 'Johnson's warthog! Come on spartan, go go go!' shouted Killer Lettuce as Ks started to burn rubber, 'drive to the longsword fighter!'. The satellites started firing and scorched the earth. Ks evaded the satellite beams and made it to the ship. 'Everybody in!' commanded ks. The party took off, but were soon fired at by aliens. Ks tried to fire back, but the weapons barely made a dent. Suddenly, a voice spoke over the comm channel, 'don't worry, I've got your back!'. Killer Lettuce got excited 'it's B2S and a reptilian fleet!'. Ks dodged enemy fire as he headed for the stratosphere with the planet disintegrating around them. Without warning, a giant ice cream van ship shot down B2S' plane. 'You will not escape!' said a Swedish voice. 'FUCK!' said Ks, 'it's Kimmo. The missiles are jammed and the other weapons are out of ammo'. Matt grabbed the joystick, 'you guys get to the escape pods'. Matt drove the thrusters up to full and rammed the ship into Kimmo's. Matt looked Kimmo straight in the eye and shouted 'FALUN DAFA SO LONG!'...

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 4 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #556,880

The party's escape pods floated in space and they mourned the destruction of the planet. 'NO!' shouted Kook in extreme grief. 'Earth is gone' muttered Ks in disbelief. Killer Lettuce humpnig his lapels, 'we must terraform Mars'. Suddenly, Ks became hyper. 'There are other survivors' he chirped. 'Who?' asked Killer Lettuce. 'Our salvation!'...
The End

Anonymous B replied with this 2.6 years ago, 7 hours later, 4 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #556,957

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
That was profoundly brilliant.

These deserve fucking critical acclaim.

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 joined in and replied with this 2.6 years ago, 9 hours later, 4 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #557,092

@previous (B)
It reminded me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 5 minutes later, 4 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #557,093

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #557,509

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #557,514

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
:O

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.6 years ago, 37 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #557,524

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I'll give a few little teasers to all 400 people watching this thread.
-It is technically both a prequel and a sequel.
-New characters who have never posted and never will post on minichan such as Red and Max Meller.
-Clones.

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.6 years ago, 21 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #558,143

Minichanfic 5: Life on Mars
Prologue
Flaco and Red were looking around The Creationist Museum of Mars. The tour guide was showing how life on Mars came to be. 'The Great God: Killer Lettuce created plant life on Mars on the first day! On the second day, his servant, 'Dr Roberts', created the clones from which we are all descended'. Flaco and Red were intrigued, 'what happened to the Gods of old?' asked Red. 'Ks built the first martian meth lab and then ascended to heaven on his bike. Kook ruled over New America with her rat terrier for 50 years. No one knows what happened to Killer Lettuce' replied the tour guide. Red winked at Flaco, 'pooey trousers time?' Flaco slapped his bum, 'soiled my trouser hast thy?' they then shat over the tour guide...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 1 week later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,103

Flaco and Red returned home and turned on the news. 'Hello, this is the Mons Olympus Broadcasting Corporation. We bring you this emergency broadcast. The planet's resources are running out. Within one year Mars will be unable to sustain any life. Now to sports'. Flaco looked at Red in sheer terror than lit up a blunt of Mars weed. 'Shot o brock!' he exclaimed...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.6 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,246

'Time to thwart the New China government' said Max Meller as he stuffed hotdogs full of dynamite. He got on his electric scooter and drove down the streets of New Kunming. 'Free the mutants!' her shouted as he lobbed hotdogs everywhere. Max laughed as he rebelled against the New Chinese government...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.6 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,247

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Upvoted

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.6 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,250

'And now, we bring you this breaking news. The leading scientist of time travel has created a planetary time cage that will send the entire planet back in time. Ladies and gentlemen, here to explain further, Dr Jimmo Elm'. Jimmo smiled and addressed the news reporter audience. 'Yes, I have perfected the planetary time cage. We have all heard the legend of the planet 'Turf'. I believe it is real. I shall send our planet back to 2012. I will also create a dimensional phase shift device to bring us to within 200000 miles of Urf's, close, but far enough away to not disrupt orbit. Then, we shall invade the planet and steal their resources'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 15 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,486

Falco and Green kidnapped the Emperor of Japan and took him up mount Fuji. Green and Falco winked and ate a can of beans. 'NAGASAKI! ' they roared as the farted and made avalanches down the mountain. 'Much dishonour' said the Emperor of Japan as he commited sudoku. Falco shat him. 'Green it is 12/20/2012. The world ends tomorrow. They say Nibiru is coming!'. Green laughed, 'it is 20/12/2012t he world will not end'. Falco and Green hugged.

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,487

'I'LL SHIT YOUR FUCKING NIPPLES YOUR CUNT BEAN FUCKING WANK STAINS' shouted Ks in meth fury. Postmortem picked up a table and proceeded to smash up the sink, 'FUCKING TWATS SHIT MY HAT I'LL BASTARD THE FUCKING DESK UP MY FAT FUCKING ASS YOU STUPID CUNT LICKING BASTARD' said he. McWalter walked in with a McDonalds and he was in a rage, 'WELL FUCK MY ARSE SHEMALES IN YOGA PANTS I'LL FUCKING WANK THE SHIT COWS SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU FUCKING PONCEY POOFTER'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 22 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #561,874

Matt entered the fireworks factory. 'Time for a Falun Dafa Bomb' he chuckled. 'Freeze Mr Mirrer! ' said a voice. It was the KPD. Suddenly, a SWAT team burst in, it was the IRS. Matt's heart filled with terror. Matt gripped the molotov cocktail firmly. The KPD aimed a sniper at Matt. 'Any final words Mr Mirrer?' asked Chi Lung, the head of the KPD and Matt's new rival. 'Yes' said Matt, 'I am Matthew Miller, head of the Falun Dafa Gong Kunming Division and I will bring down the Chinese government!'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quintuple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 2 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #562,536

Red and Flaco watched the news, their bodies were ready. Jimmo activated the chrono-dimensional-planetary-shifter (pronounced as one word). The planet started to have to shake and tremors occurred across the surfa ce. The planet was having a seizure like an autistic man having a meltdown after finding out Sonic's arms are blue. Suddenly, the planet started to stabilize. Flaco and Red went outside to see the earth looming overhead in the sky.

Green !BEERiVqJJw sextuple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 1 week later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #566,001

'Son of a fuck' said Green as he saw a giant planet hanging overhead in the sky. Falco span around in circles, 'I'm a washing machine!' he shouted. Green was full of terror. 'Falco' he said, 'there is a giant planet I'm the sky. Wat do?'. Falco lit up a doob, 'smoke weed every day' he replied. Suddenly the phone rang. 'Hi, this is Killer Lettuce. As you can sew, there is a giant planet in the sky. You need to come to Cornwall immediately'. Green put down the phone and started packing the dildos. Suddenly, they're were a k rock at the door. 'Hello, it's me, Killer Lettuce. We need to go to Cornwall straight away'. Falco started an epilepsy, 'wait. If you're here, then who was phone?'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw septuple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 2 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #566,779

Killer Lettuce, Green and Falco started to head towards Cornwall, when suddenly, a spaceship landed and people came out. 'Omg' began Falco, 'that planet is not Nibiru, it is Mars, you must be Martians'. The people spat at the party, 'we prefer to be called Marsdens' they replied. Killer Lettuce was overwhelmed with valour, 'oi you fekking wankers. You all wimbly 4s their m8. This is our planet u cunts. We is proper the hardest wankers in all of England and we're gonna twat your mums one'. The Marsdens laughed. 'Oh, you are no match for Murderer Cabbage!'...

(Edited 35 seconds later.)

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #566,780

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
This is fantastic. You have perfectly captured my style of talking.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 28 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #566,785

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
You take that back, rainy weather is so better than sunny weather.

to4str joined in and replied with this 2.5 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #566,878

And tostr wan and it was the end of this shitty fanfic.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #567,059

Is had just finished selling a ton of method and was tired. 'I want a vacation' he said. Postmortem winked and slapped his bum. 'You should go to the recall centre' he said. Is did a jig and went to the recall centre. The people there put him in a chair. 'We can do some shit' they said, 'now are you heterosexual or homosexual?'. Is winks at the audience, 'I'm bicurious'.........

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #567,294

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
By the way, that is not the terrorist organisation known as IS, it should say Ks, but my autocorrect kept correcting it.

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #567,295

The party jumped on Killer Lettuce's tractor and made most haste to Cornwall. Suddenly, Falco was hit by a quiche. Killer Lettuce looked behind to see a Liverpudlian in a reliant robin. 'Aye you fucking southern bastards. Come to new Liverpool you cunts. I am Murderer Cabbage'. Killer Lettuce pulled out his shotgun and shot his wheels out as the party cheered as they arrived in Cornwall...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 4 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #568,695

The rest of the fanfic is now downloadable content.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #568,698

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #568,705

The party went to the minichan bar, where they were greeted by Postmortem and Ks. The party started to formulate a plan to stop the marsdens. Suddenly, the party heard a loud explosion outside, at least 100 decibels. In the distance, they saw a smoking pile of rubble. Green fell to his knees on despair, 'the marsdens have blown up Tesco!' he wept/weeped. Postmortem patted Green's shoulder. 'It's ok. You can always shop at Lidl' said Postmortem. "U fucking wot m8' replied Green indignantly as he whacked Postmortem with a frozen bottle of cider. 'Calm down' said Killer Lettuce, 'why do you hate Lidl so much?'. Green sighed, 'well, let me tell you a story'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #568,824

'I went into Lidl' began Green, 'to see what all the malarky was about. When I went in, that's where the problems began. You see, if you enter Tesco, you can easily exit if you change your mind. Not in fucking Lidl! Once you're in, you're stuck. You have to go through the fucking checkout to exit. You have to push by people to get out. And if you do choose to buy something, you have to wait in the long queue. After you've paid for your shitty groceries, they expect you to leave immediately and bag them elsewhere. It's really rushed and demeaning. But what really took the fucking biscuit was when they charged me for 2 packets of their sausages when I only bought one. I went to a member of staff and they said I had to see someone at the till. So I waited in the long queue and the cashier said they couldn't help me so I asked see the manager, but they finally gave me a refund. Not to mention that all the people who shop in Lidl are all soulless assholes who will push in front of you. Never get that in Tesco, or even Sainsbury's or Morrisons. So that's why I hate Lidl. It's not worth the dreadful experience or lack of self-service just to save 10p off of cornflakes. I will never shop in Lidl again'...

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 18 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #568,833

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
What Green understands is how to get the reader to sympathise with the protagonist. Few authors can do this as well as Green has done here.

Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 2.5 years ago, 20 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,065

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)

What killer lettuce understands is how to speak as if he knows what he is saying. Few bullshitters know how to do it as well as what Killer lettuce is doing here.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 12 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,281

The party started chillaxing and acting all cool in the minichan bar until r04r came over. 'You fucking wankers. I hate all of you' said r04r. r04r then proceeded to pick up Postmortem up with her robotic hand and threw him at the ceiling fan, leading him to being covered in blood. 'What do we do about this Marsden invasion?' asked Killer Lettuce. 'I don't give a crap you little shits. Now I'm off to China to kick Matt's fat arse'. r04r jumped through the window and engaged her jet mode. Suddenly the phone rang and Killer Lettuce answered it. 'Hello, this is The Owl. I have information from my undercover mission on Mars'. Killer Lettuce braced himself, 'what is it?' he asked. 'The people of Mars are all communists' The Owl replied. Killer Lettuce winks at the audience, 'I guess that's why they call it the red planet'. The Owl continued, 'I won't be coming back to earth, I have defected to Mars and their communist ideals. Goodbye comrades'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 9 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,373

'I need to escape from Gitmo' said Matt. The interrogator continued to waterboard Matt. When the interrogator turned around, Matt knocked him out with a single bare lightbulb. Matt made a break for the gates and slammed his bubble butt on the floor making him bounce over the gate. Matt was surrounded by water, the army were pursuing him. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice. 'Thee thy or eye get on my RE: surfbored if u want 2 liv'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 14 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,542

Suddenly, there was a news flash on the tv; 'Nigel Farage has been declared the Emperor of Earth' said the news presenter, 'now we go to Thanet South for his speech'. Nigel Farage was drinking a beer and representing himself as an average bloke, 'Thank you for electing me Earth Emperor. As the leader of EKIP, I have come up with a plan to help stop the inflow of Martian immigrants. Using similar technology to what got Mars here, we shall use on earth. Earth will be leaving the solar system. We will transport it to the Andromeda galaxy. Also, as my first act, I will be declaring Britain independent from Cornwall. I am sending missiles to blow up Devon and separate Cornwall from Britain'. A look of terror washed over Killer Lettuce's face. Green picked up his cider and rushed outside. Suddenly, the ground shook and trembled as the party looked on in horror at the billowing tower of smoke where Devon used to be...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,543

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
:')

I don't know how you do it, but once again you've outdone yourself. Good show!

@569,281 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I really like how you've written r04r, here. You've captured her mannerisms perfectly. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was something she'd actually done.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 11 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,633

'We need to stop Farage!' exclaimed Killer Lettuce. Green was defiant, 'no you tory wankers!' he replied. 'But Green, if we leave the solar system we will die' retorted Killer Lettuce. Green had quite the conundrum. Falco patted Green on the back, 'I voted UKIP too, but this has gone too far. We need to protect the earth' said Falco valiantly. 'Ok' said Green, 'but first we need to take a boat back to Britain'. The party got on a boat and set sail. Suddenly they heard a helicopter closing in. 'It's the DEA!' shouted Ks. Ks got out a shotgun and started shooting the choppers down. The DEA started to return fire and capsized the boat. 'Now what do we do?' asked Postmortem as he used his erection as a floatation device. Suddenly the party heard their salvation, 'do thee thy or eye need a 10 myle ryde?'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 20 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #569,858

Syntax transformed his surfboard into a speedboat and the party jumped aboard. Suddenly more choppers turned up, 'it's the IRS and Chinese government!' exclaimed Matt. Matt poured petrol (gasoline) into his empty wine bottles and made makeshift molotov cocktails. Matt lobbed them at the choppers, downing a few. 'Land ahoy!' proclaimed Ks. The party had made it ashore Britain. 'Quick, in here' said Ks as he commandeered an empty Tesco lorry (bigrig). 'There are weapons in here' said Green in a delightful tone. The party armed themselves and fought off the pursuing forces. 'Oh shit, UKIP vans' said Killer Lettuce frantically. Killer Lettuce handed Green some cornish pasties and they threw them at the UKIP vans. The party were nearing South Thanet, when out of nowhere a marsden ship opened fire on them. Ks tried to keep control of the lorry, but it veered out of control, the lorry rolled over and came to a deadly stop. The marsdens began to close in on the party.
The End

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 23 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,141

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Of Part One

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 40 seconds later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,143

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
To Be Continued

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,144

@570,141 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
oh good

I was about to top myself over this fanfic ending.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 14 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,155

Part 2
Flaco and Red were enthusiastic about the earth invasion. 'I think we should join the Marsden army!' piped Red. Flaco winked, 'lets go see the King of Mars' he replied. The group travelled to the interior of Olympus Mons and went into the king's fort. Suddenly, they were apprehended by their enemy, 'I'm going to kill the king', said Red's enemy. 'We shall stop you, k3tt13' replied Red, 'why don't you abduct some more grannies'. K3tt13 became enraged and went forth in search of ketamine. 'The Mars plot is really boring' said Flaco, 'get back to earth'. Red shook his head and approached the king's guard...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,622

'Hello' said the king, 'you must be the great heroes'. Flaco and Red winked. 'As you know, we are invading earth. I have a special mission for you two, I want you to join the crew of the Daedalus and destroy Britain'. The king laughed maniacally, 'then I want you to use a thingymabobby device on the moon and steal it'. Flaco and Red saluted the king and boarded the Daedalus...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #570,629

The marsdens surrounded the party and closed in for the kill, suddenly missiles struck the marsdens. The party were filled with relief. They looked on towards where their salvation had come from and spotted a ship, on the side it bore the insignia 'S.S. Alms'. Kimmo opened the doors, 'get in if you want to live' he commanded. The party jumped in. 'Kimmo, we need to get to South Thanet' said Killer Lettuce. Kimmo nodded and engaged his ship to maximum warp. 'I'll do this' said Green, as he picked up a rifle. Green jumped through Farage's window, 'you want independence? Well I'm a single independent black woman who don't need no man' said Green as he shot Farage...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.5 years ago, 2 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #571,227

I just want to let you all know that I plan all the fanfics before I write them. I wrote them all with a story and character arc in advance.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.5 years ago, 26 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #571,246

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
And it shows! Thanks for continuing to put hard work into these, m8.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.5 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #571,271

After Green shot Farage, he went back into the S.S. Alm. Suddenly, a large marsden ship appeared in the sky and started glassing Britain. 'We have to stop it' shouted Green. The S.S. Alm landed on the Daedalus, but it was too late, as the party looked down, they saw Btitain turn to rubble...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.5 years ago, 5 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #573,112

'We need to bring this ship down!' shouted Green. The party started to head for the control room. They engaged in gunfire with the crew and made it to the bridge. 'How do we bring this down?' asked Ks. Matt winked, 'don't worry, I know what to do'. Matt rogered the controls and the ship started to plummet.../

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 5 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,702

'The ship is going to crash into the Falklands!' shouted Killer Lettuce. Green was dismayed, there is a Tesco there'. Killer Lettuce shook his head, 'no there isn't'. The party rushed back to the S.S Alms, feeling victorious. They went to the roof of the ship and looked at the starry sky in bliss. What happened next almost gave them a shiver down their spine a seizure. 'The moon' gasped Kimmo, 'it has disappeared! Now the lolis will never know its meaning'...

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,703

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
kek!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 14 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,708

'What do we do?' asked Postmortem hysterically. Ks ponyificated, 'I haven't had many lines in this story, but I think we should get you ass to mars and use the thingymabob to send mars back to their time zone'. The party cheered, 'but we need a martian ship to get there' said Fake_anon who was in the corner eating a shalom. Suddenly, the ship came under attack, 'we are Flaco and Red. Prepare to be boarded'. Flaco and Red boarded the ship with some other Marsdens. 'My name False_unknown and I am a space jew' said one of them. Falco threw an egg in his mouth and he died of intolerance. Ks got out a gun and shot Flaco, Red and Murderer Cabbage. 'Now we have a martian ship'...

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,710

I know some of you are probably shocked and upset that I killed off Flaco and Red, two of the most fully developed characters in a minichanfic, but

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,711

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I'm fine with it. This fanfic did not get where it is today without big twists like that.

beckyderp !4aMoRa.T2Q joined in and replied with this 2.4 years ago, 12 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #574,860

@574,710 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
A bit upset but I will get over it.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #575,476

The party flew to Mars and the whatchamajig control base. Green, Falco and Killer Lettuce equipped heavy artillery, 'Kimmo and the rest of the party' began Killer Lettuce, ' you wait here in the ship. We need to go alone. This is for Britain, this is personal'. The trio entered the caverns and fought their way past Marsden security. They made it to the control room door and blew it open...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #575,843

I just want to make the announcement that there have been complaints by many users here who have been triggered by some of the more mature themes in this fanfic. I shall be making some dramatic changes.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #575,847

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
:O

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #575,848

'Before we go in the control room, I think we should talk about our feelings' said Falco. Killer Lettuce nodded, 'I think that people who mock fat people should be hung at dawn'. The trio hugged. 'I like planting flowers' said Green, 'they are very pretty and make me feel warm inside'. TRIGGER WARNING! VIOLENT IMAGERY! 'Oh no, I think I broke a nail' cried Killer Lettuce. Green kissed Killer Lettuce's finger better and applied a plaster. 'Green, I have spontaneously turned into a woman' said Falco. Killer Lettuce became furious, 'check your privelege cis scum!'...

squeegee joined in and replied with this 2.4 years ago, 10 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,077

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
thanks, i can finally visit this thread now without having rage fits and self harming

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 11 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,186

The trio entered the control room and started to dispatch the security. Falco shat everywhere to distract the guards, whilst Killer Lettuce and Green approached the controller. 'The Owl!' gasped Killer Lettuce in disbelief, 'we will kill you for what you've done'. The Owl snickered, 'you think that I am your enemy? I am a double agent. I tried to stop the Marsdens destroying Britain, but I was too late. It was I who sent Kimmo to save you. You are the only people who can stop him, stop the king of mars!'. Suddenly laughter echoed around the room. 'Like these worthless trolls could ever stop me!'...

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 52 seconds later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,187

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Who could it be?!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,193

'Killer Lettuce!' gasped Green, 'in a robot suit' Falco turned around in utter discombobulation. 'HAHA! Fuck you all!' said RoboKiller Lettuce. 'Oi you what m8os?' asked Killer Lettuce. 'The earth was destroyed' began RoboKiller Lettuce, 'and it drove me insane. After we terraformed mars and set up the legion of clones, I extracted vital information about immortality from Dr Roberts and then killed him. I have ruled over this planet for what seems like an eternity, and now, it is time for you all to die'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 17 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,199

RoboKiller Lettuce charged his laser cannons and shot Killer Lettuce. 'YOU FUCKING FOOL!' shouted Green, 'you've created a paradox that will kill us all!'. 'I am freaking out, smoked way too much weed', replied Falco. Suddenly a giant hole appeared into the room and began devouring everything. The Owl spoke, 'Green, Falco, get out now. I've set the macguffin device to send mars a billion years back in the past, I've returned the moon back to earth and I've set the self destruct timer for 5 minutes to blow this base uo. Go, Go now!'...

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

squeegee replied with this 2.4 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,296

am i the only one waiting for this fanfic to be over so you can binge read it?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,813

Suddenly RoboKiller Lettuce took off his mask. 'Dr Roberts!' gasped Green. 'You fucking worthless trolls. Instead of trying to help the people who insult me, I am going to prove how great psychologist I am by calling everyone a troll and getting pissed off!' shouted Dr Roborts. Falco and Green started to run to the elevator,making a daring escape from the base. Explosions rocked the elevator until it came to a stop. 'FUCK!' bellowed Green, 'we'll have to escape via the tunnels! The duo farted through the tunnels with Dr Roberts hot on their tail. 'Time for me to solve all your problems, by killing you!' guffawed Dr Roberts. 'Green, the mars rover!' squeaked Falco in delight. Green jumped on the rover and started hauling ass. Falco rubbed his 3 boobs together, generating static electricity. Falco shot lightning out of his nipples, slowing Dr Roberts down. The duo made it to the bridge, however the ship was nowhere to be found...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 8 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,868

So who is everyone's favourite hero and villain?

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 33 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,872

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
My favourite villain was Leonidas. His autistic behaviours gave me a giggle.

Favourite hero would be Green. He's just a very sympathetic and endearing hero.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 19 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,876

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
I think I can relate to Green the most, but my favourite hero is Falco.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,878

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Yeah, I enjoy his weed shenanigans.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 10 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,879

'Where the fuck is the ship?' asked Green angrily. Dr Roborts sped up and shot Falco with a laser. Falco fell down dead. Green walked up to him and felt his pulse, there was no beat. Tears poured down Green's face, 'Falco no'. 'HAHA!' laughed Dr Roberts maniacally. He got out an ipad. 'I am activating the 10 myle satellytes to destroy the earth and turn it into coal, which will fuel mars forever'. Green looked at Falco's cadaver and clenched his fists. 'YOU'RE NATTERING FOR A TWATTERING!' roared Green. Green picked up a traffic cone and attacked Dr Roberts. 'You fucking little chav' said Dr Roberts as he zapped Green with his robo arms. Green was too weak to move. Dr Roberts grimaced as he revved up his wheels and charged full speed at Green...

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 14 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,883

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Oh my god- no!

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 2.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,886

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
Could this be the end for our beloved heroes???

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,928

Out of nowhere, a missile was fired and blew up Dr Robotnik, 'yippee kyay, motherfucker!' shouted a voice. It was Ks piloting the ship. Green put his hands in the air in sheer ecstasy. Ks beamed Green aboard and they zoomed off. 'Kimmo tried to leave without you', said Ks, 'but I made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Green hit his head, 'we need to destroy the satellites' yelled Green. Ks became macho, 'I shoot satellite' he said as he shot satellites down. 'Oh no, we missed a satellite and it destroyed Australia!' winked Fake_anon. Postmortem opened the champagne and Matt clapped. But Green was in no mood. He was tears. 'Killer Lettuce and Falco are kill' he sobbed...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,936

Epilouge
The party were all crying at the funeral. 'Killer Lettuce was a person' said Matt heartily. 'He really loved breathing' said Meta. Green placed a Tesco Value Pasty in Killer Lettuce's mouth, 'have one on me mate'. The party then said their farewells to Falco, when suddenly the clouds opened up and a ray of light shone down. Green could hardly believe it. It was an angel Falco. Falco came down and hugged Green, 'Jesus has turned me into an angle' he said as he tenderly kissed Green on the forehead. Suddenly Green had an epitome! 'The water on mars and evidence of life discovered years ago were the Marsdens. The temporal device sent them back in time or some shit'. The party cheered this astonishing revelation. However the celebration was interrupted by heroin addicted bears. Green winked at Falco, 'poopy pant time?'. Falco shat through his halo and braced himself, 'pooped my pant hasn't yours'...
The End

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,939

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
:')

Yet another masterpiece.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 20 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,943

Minichanfic 4: Back to Reality
Falco whipped out his 10 inch penis and Green new he was in for a treat. "Get the dog suit" Green exclaimed as he was stroking his 12 inch penis. "You are the manliest man I know Falco".
"Pooped my pant hasn't yours?". Falco replied. Green winked. "Poopy pants time". Falco unleashed his anus and let out wet, sloppy shit. "All lubed up". Falco could barely contain his pleasure as Green entered him. Green straddled the Falco, an adonis of a man. "Am cum Green". Falco screamed in ecstasy. Green had the stamina of a stallion. "Am cum Falco" Green shouted in pleasure. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #576,945

Falco looked through the peephole. "Green! It's Becku!" he shouted. Green trembled in fear. "It's Falco time!". Green and Falco charged their anuses. "Maximum POWER!" they shouted. However, Becky kicked the door down and picked up a saucepan. 'You killed my cats you cunts' Becky said as she whacked Green and Falco with the saucepan. Becky then sharpened her high-heels and trod over the pair, stabbing them to death...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 5 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,083

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Typical Becky. :-/

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 2.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,127

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Yeah I was surprised why this is even in a story. It is something she does basically every day.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,141

This is going to be one of my most controversial minichanfics yet. All new characters, our traditional heroes will be taking a backseat. More violence and radical ideas. If you are easily triggered, I suggest you skip this fanfic and wait for the Life On Mars sequel.

(Edited 38 seconds later.)

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,142

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I am hyped as fuck! I shall be calling in sick next week, I am definitely setting some time aside for this.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 55 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,149

The Editor lay on the beach, enjoying his martini, when suddenly, the sound of a ruckus surrounded him. 'Stop that oppressive cisgender male' said a voice. 'What in poptarts is going on?' wondered The Editor. The Editor started to worry when he realised he was surrounded by transgender tumblrites, and they were all enclosing in on him. 'We've found public enemy number 1!' shouted a tumblrite in triumph. 'I wouldn't come any closer!' said The Editor. The tumblrites chuckled, 'what are you going to do? Stun us with your privilege?'. The Editor smirked as his hand reached for his pocket...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,150

The Editor pulled out a katana and started decapitating the tumblrites. 'Cease this oppression or the queen will send you to the tower'. The Editor was unphased, suddenly, his watched started glowing. 'Time for me to get out of here' he said as he teleported a way. He teleported to Ks' house and knocked on the door. Ks ansewered, but what he viewed haunted his nightmares...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,176

'Ks, why are you wearing a muumuu?' asked The Editor. Ks gasped at The Editor's ignorance, 'it is the law', replied Ks, 'all cisgender males are required by law to wear women's clothing. Don't you remember the transgender bill of rights?'. The Editor shook his head, 'yes, but I also remember Green and Falco took a shit all over the bill and stopped it being passed'. Ks looked puzzled, 'who are Green and Falco?'. The Editor became discombobulated, 'something isn't right here' he said. Ks stroked The Editor's ear tenderly and then whispered in it:; 'if you are that opposed to the transgender bill, dutchland is the only place in the world where it hasn't been enforced. Go there'. The Editor nodded, 'I will, but there is somewhere else I must go first'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 23 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #577,423

The Editor teleported to the lab0r4at0ries and found what he was looking for. He flicked a switch and suddenly a hologram appeared, 'please state the nature of the sexual emergency ;)' it said. 'KL, it's The Editor' replied The Editor, 'listen, something weird is going on, it's like history is changing. Ks didn't remember Falco or Green'. KL winked, 'who could forget those Adonises. Now where is my fooking pasty?' asked KL. The Editor found KL's cornish pasty shaped mobile emitter and attached it to his arm. Suddenly, an explosion rocked the lab. 'SPAMBOTS!' shouted KL...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quintuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,005

The spambots opened fire on the duo. KL whipped out his penis and starting hitting the spambots with his hard-light hologram hose. The Editor decimated the spambots with his katana. 'KL, where are Falco and Green?' asked The Editor. KL started calculating, 'Green is in rehab and Falco is in a mental institution'. The Editor's watch started beeping, 'lets roll'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw sextuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,542

'We're in rehab' said The Editor, 'lets find Green'. KL and The Editor walked around the corridors until they found Green. 'Green, you sexy bastard, have you lost weight?' asked The Editor, 'we need your help because something isn't right'. Green turned round, 'thou whateth mateys?' Green replied. 'We need you to team up with Falco and-', 'FALCO!' shouted Green, 'I fucking hate Falco'. The Editor pulled out a bottle of cider. Green picked it up and threw it out the window, 'get that toxic waste out of here. I am working the 12 steps'. The Editor shook his head, 'it's no use'. The Editor and KL then travelled to the psychiatric ward. The duo broke into a padded room. 'Falco, come on, lets get out of here!' exclaimed The Editor. Falco started to run in circles shouting 'i'm orgne doge'. The Editor rolled a blunt, 'here'. Falco looked at the blunt and then started flapping his arms in his straight jacket. 'I'm a dodo I can't smoke weed because I'm extinct' Falco said. The Editor had a defeatist look, 'it is no use', he said, 'there is only one hope now, we must go to dutchland and find a hero named Dreamworks'...

(Edited 1 minute later.)

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,544

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Will he be in his trademark batman suit, that he inexplicably wears in these fanfics?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,545

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
I've decided to go a different route this time, he actually has quite a complex character arc and varied dialogue.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,546

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I'm looking forward to it!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 57 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,548

The duo teleported to dutchland. 'How do we find Dreamworks?' queried KL. The Editor picked up a tulip, 'we follow the tulips' he replied. The duo followed the tulips into a field and spotted a windmill. 'No, it can't be' said KL. On top of the windmill was a man dancing in wooden clogs and smoking a spliff. 'It's Dreamworks!' said The Editor in sheer joy. The party went up to Dreamworks, 'Dreamworks, we need your help!' said The Editor. 'Guten tag' replied Dreamworks. Dreamworks joined party. 'Now, we need to find Brie the oracle and a man they call 'Squeegee', said The Editor...

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,549

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Squeegee, eh? It is about time he made his Minichanfic debut. I am excited to see how you interpret his persona.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,842

'Hello Squeegee' said The Editor, 'I masturbate into a sock' replied Squeegee. Suddenly a hole started appearing and sucking. 'Analyze that, KL' demanded The Editor. KL analysed the hole. 'It is...a giant plothole!' exclaimed KL. 'It threatens all of reality'. The party gasped in sheer terror. 'KL, can you find the origins of the plothole?' asked The Editor. 'Yes, we need to get to anontalk towers'. The party started to head towards Sweden when suddenly they heard shouting. 'Oi, we're the Becky brigade! We're going to beat you then sue you!'...

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.4 years ago, 7 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #578,892

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)

Oh no! What will our heroes do?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 19 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,276

'Guess who's out of rehab you twats!' shouted Bella as she threw an empty bottle of Lambrini at Squeegee. Buspuppie ran at Dreamworks with a rolling pin, but Dreamworks kicked it away with his clogs. The party valiantly thought the Becky brigade, but the Becky brigade soon overwhelmed our heroes. Becky threw cats at Squeegee, but Squeegee swiftly taxidermied them. Becky took out a mallet and was about to strike our heroes when suddenly someone struck the Becky brigade with a sword. 'Brie!' exclaimed The Editor, 'what sword is that?' Brie tipped his fedora, 'm'chete'. The party rejoiced and teleported to Anontalk Towers...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,280

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Squeegee's Minichanfic debut is matching, perhaps even exceeding expectations.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,283

The party were in Anontalk Towers, when suddenly spambots opened fire. KL proceeded to whip them with his dick, but one of them shot his mobile emitter. 'You fookin shot me pasty!' he shouted. He switched to softlight mode to conserve energy. Dreamworks drank a Mountain Dew and became hyped. He kicked a table over and picked up a grenade launcher and shouted 'GUTEN TAG!!' as he blew up the spambots. With the party victorious, they approached Kimmo...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,289

'Looks like my years of playing Call of Duty paid off!' winked Dreamworks as he proceeded to twat spambots. Kimmo approached the party, 'ha, I am evil and I have an evil plan' said Kimmo. The Editor tipped his fedora, 'I am the supreme oracle and I will stop you'. Kimmo did a little jig and slapped his bum, 'no one can stop me now. I have control of the giant plothole. The plotholes and grammatical errors in these fanfics were so great that it caused ripples in the fabric of reality. I have harnessed that power to break down the fourth wall and give the readers what they really want! Stories about Becky buying cat food!'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,320

'Well gee whiz' said Becky as she arose from her slumber, 'it's a lovely sunny day out'. Becky's eyes drifted to her cat who was pawing at an empty bowl. 'Oh, your're a hungry kitty!' exclaimed Becky, 'I'm going to the store to buy cat food'. Becky got dressed and headed towards Walmart. Suddenly, she tripped over a tile, 'that was a doozy!' she laughed, 'I'm going to sue someone'. She approached Walmart when she saw Falco riding a chicken. 'Aloha!' shouted Falco as he threw down potatoes. 'They got potassium!' said Green as he jumped out of a garbage can in a bikini. Suddenly Matt fell out of the sky from a paper aeroplane. 'Green, we need to get to Cornwall, Ks is going to rape himself'...

(Edited 45 seconds later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 14 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,327

'No!' shouted Kimmo, 'what is happening?'. The Editor tipped his fedora, 'the plothole has become too powerful to control, it will break down reality'. Kimmo took out a shotgun and killed The Editor. 'NO!' shouted Brie as he picked up The Editor's fedora and katana. Brie drank a litre of DXM and unlocked his true oracle power...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quintuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 6 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,458

Kimmo went insane with defeat and shot Dreamworks 'guten tag' said Dreaworks as he died. Squeegee was so excited by the exhilarating plot that he shot himself with a gun he bought for under $20. KL's pasty exploded deleting his program. 'Up to me' said Brie as he jumped through a plothole. He spotted a genetically modified Becku knocking on a door. Falco and Green answered and Brie leapt into action, helping them defeat the Becku. 'Who are you?' asked Green, 'I just saved your plotholes!' replied Brie.
The End

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 29 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,466

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
:')

I don't know how you do it, but you just keep pushing out these masterful endings.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,473

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
It was originally longer than this, but I accidentally hit paste instead of copy. It was shorter than the usual, only because I've already planned out the next minichanfic. It is going to be the longest one yet and will have to be done in three parts. It will have action, anarchy and autism.

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 9 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,658

Minichanfic 7: Delete Fucking Everything

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,660

Prologue
After the destruction of Britain, many countries around the world donated their land to create a new country: new Britain. Only Cornwall and Northern Ireland remained of the old Britain. America donated the state of Florida to make up 51% of New Britain and thus, were the ruling force. Civil war was about to break out in Cornwall as the oppressive American bastards planned to invade. Only a small band of heroes stood in their way...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #579,754

Part 1: The Civil War
'Are you ready?' Green asked Falco and Matt. They both nodded. Matt drove the party on his electric scooter to a university in New Britain. 'You know the plan' said Green, 'we challenge the students to a drinking contest and we win'. Falco put on his fursuit, 'I'll smoke em' he said excitedly. The party entered the university and called out the students, challenging them to a drinking contest. The students came out with cans of PBR and started drinking. Matt and Green winked as they opened and downed their wine and cider respectively. Numerous students try to outdrink Green and Matt, but to no avail. Suddenly, some jocks came out chugging a keg of beer. 'Pass me the Frosty Jack and Scrumpy Jacks' said Green...

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw quintuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,275

Despite the jocks' valiant effort, they were no match for the drinking machines that were Green and Matt. 'We'll take our trophy now' said Green. The student body president came out with the trophy and presented it to Green. 'Psych!' he said as he pulled the trophy out of Green's grasp at the last second. Green was proper pissed, 'you're nattering for a twattering' he shouted, but the twattering was cut short as hipsters ran out ofntheir dorms and opened fire on the party. 'Why the fuck do they have guns?' asked Green, 'murrica' replied Falco. 'Right Matt, we're-Matt you fucking coward!' shouted Green as he and Falco witnessed Matt speeding away on his scooter...

Green !BEERiVqJJw sextuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 28 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,286

How are you liking this latest installment? This is most realistic.

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 43 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,302

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I like how that last part wasn't afraid to "tell it like it is" with American culture. Some might have tried to tone things down a bit, but you went ahead and told the readers just how things work in USAmerica.

(Edited 51 seconds later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,307

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
That's it readers. This is what we call a fucking chuckler. A guy what has a St Michaels for a bit of a giggle, but he's all trouser. Seriously, are you all brass?

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,308

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I'm making a right Michael Buble of it, m8!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,311

@previous (RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx)
You want to invoke a Robbie Williams?

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #580,315

'Falco, to the lobby' commanded Green. When they reached there, Green unveiled a vehicle most majestic. 'What is that?' asked Falco. Green winked, 'I stashed this here hust in case. It is a Tesco trolley, armoured with NHS dentist signs and powered by the legendary 27 litre cider engine. I call it the Troll-E' said Green. Green shook Troll-E and handed Falco a cricket bat. 'You steer, I'll shoot'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #581,312

Green shook the Troll-E and opened the caps on the cider bottles. The heroes zoomed away from the hipsters with utmost haste. However, the hipsters were hot on their trail, chasing them on mopeds and smart cars. Green aimed his SMG and fired at the hipsters. 'FUCK YOUR IRONIC SHIRTS!' he yelled as he head-shotted hipsters. Falco steered the Troll-E, heading towards Cornwall...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #581,314

'Falco, look out! A drone!' shouted Green as a drone opened fire on them. Falco was as limber as a contortionist, dodging bullets and missiles. Suddenly, a hipster shot out a wheel on the Troll-E and it came to a grinding halt... as limber as a contortionist as he dodged the

Green !BEERiVqJJw quintuple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #581,753

Hipsters gained on the duo. 'Looks like this is the end, Falco' wept Green. The hipsters drank their coffee and aimed their guns. Suddenly, the revving of cars were heard. Green looked on in glee as he saw fiat puntos and other sports cars. 'The chavalry is here!' he exclaimed. The chavs drove into hipsters killing them, then got put of the car armed with shivs and shanks. The hipsters were soon overwhelmed. David Cameron exited his limo 'here is my policy on guns' he said as he shot hipsters with a shotgun...

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #581,762

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
> David Cameron exited his limo 'here is my policy on guns' he said as he shot hipsters with a shotgun...
Ha!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #582,585

Ks and Postmortem were enjoying some beers and meth pipes in a bikers bar in New Britain. 'We must expand our meth operation here' said Ks. Postmortem looked nervous, 'wouldn't that upset Green? He and the cider cartel are looking to expand their cider business'. Ks shrugged. Suddenly, some juggalos entered the bar. 'What are you doing here?' Ks asked ferociously, 'this bar is only for tough bastards like us'. The juggalos ignored him, 'we'll have some faygos' the juggalos shouted at the bartender. Another one went to the jukebox and put on an ICP song. Ks went up to the juggalo and tapped him on the shoulder, 'I was listening to that' he said through gritted teeth. The juggalo just laughed as he took out a hatchet and swung it at Ks' knee. Ks unleashed the beast, 'YOU THINK THAT IS GOING TO STOP ME?!' he shouted. Ks grabbed the juggalo with one hand and decapitated him with the ceiling fan...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #582,586

hhh

(Edited 56 seconds later.)

RWBY Rhubarb !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 16 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #582,587

@582,585 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Is Nexus one of the juggalos???

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #582,606

Green, Falco and David Cameron went to the pub to the pub in Cornwall to celebrate their victory. 'A pint of cider all around!' David Cameron cheered. The party sat down and watched the football. Suddenly, an emergency news flash came on the tv. 'My fellow New Britons, this is your Prime Minister Obama. Due to recent incidents, all cider is hereby now banned. Possession and distribution has now been made illegal. Anybody caught making or selling cider will be sentenced to death. Also, I would like to announce the new Transgender Bill of Rights will come into law tomorrow. That is all. Goodnight'. The party stared at their cider in sheer horror. 'Green, we have to stop that bill going through' said Falco. Green started twatting bar stools, 'what about the cider? We need to get the rest of it to Merlin's cave'. David Cameron shattered the pint glass in his hand, 'you two deal with that, I will take my country back from the oppressive American bastards'...

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,555

On juggalo island, Don Juggalo was irked by the defeat of his troops. He opened up Skype. 'Hello Jan. I've heard about how your hipsters were rekt by Falco and Green'. Jan smiled, 'what are you propositioning, Nexus?'. Nexus drank his Faygo, 'I think that the juggalos should team up against Green, Falco and Ks'. Jan nodded. 'I agree. I also have the perfect solution. Half chav, half hipster. I call it the chapster. He will be their reckoning'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 46 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,585

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
> Nexus
I fucking called it!

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 19 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,586

Suddenly, Falco's iPhone began ringing, 'Falco, it's r04r, I need you to come to my secret labor4t0ry'. Falco started spinning his penis and picked up Green. The duo flew to Dutchland and entered r04rs lab. 'Oi you little shits, have I got a treat for you!' shouted r04r. The duo became astonished, 'that's McWalter!' exclaimed Green. r04r chuckled, 'it's the McWalterbot. Fuelled by McDonalds and can eat through anything. He shits out McNuggets and pisses McShakes. Also, I've made a few of his appendages a couple of inches longer' winked r04r. 'My penis is 4 inches and fully automated for your pleasure' said McWalterbot as he cheekily slapped his bum. 'Also, I would like to introduce you two to KL' said r04r...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 5 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,588

I've had a lot of PMs from drunk mods asking me what the timeline is for these fanfics, I will list the timeline later. A couple of these fanfics won't be canon though; imagine them to be like JJ Abrams' Star Trek.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 38 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,593

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
This is actually something I enjoy about these fanfics. Upon a casual observation, they seem to mostly lack in continuity. Yet, the discerning reader can see that there is actually a very strong timeline running through it all, shown in things like events or character development. One is certainly rewarded for paying close attention, here.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 18 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,820

'I am error' said KL. 'He still has a few bugs to iron out, but he has all of Killer Lettuce's memories and sexiness' explained r04r. r04r took out a pasty shaped device. 'This is a mobile emitter, it turns KL from hardlight to softlight and allows him to venture out of the lab'. Green and Falco cheered. Suddenly, Green grabbed Falco sternly, 'Falco, we need to go and twat Tesco right fucking now!'. KL looked perplexed, 'but I thought you loved Tesco?'. Green ripped off his shirt on sheer anger, 'read this article http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tesco-ditches-famous-brands-like-6139745 Tesco are banning sugary drinks due to some fat bastards. It should be my choice to drink Ribena for great justice. KL and Falco started shaking with rage too, 'lets/let's do it!' said KL..,

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 40 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,823

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
lol. That r04r and her coding shenanigans.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 49 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,824

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I included the article because I really want the reader to feel the anger the characters are feeling.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 14 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,825

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Yeah, I enjoyed that. It was a surprising piece of interactivity in the narrative.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 11 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #583,827

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Like the youtube video in the original Falco Fanfic. It males the reader feel.

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,114

The party broke into a helicopter and flew back to Cornwall. Green buttered up his cricket bat and smash the doors to Tesco. McWalterbot started eating the cutlery section. KL went to the pie section and destroyed their pasties, 'these are not real Cornish Pasties!' he guffawed. Green and Falco took a shit on the self-service. 'Unexpected item in bagging area' said the machines. 'Tesco have fucking blocked me on twitter!' shouted Green as he started destroying everything with the cricket bat. After the rampage, the CEO of Tesco flew in on a jet. 'Green you are banned from Tesco hand over your Tesco Clubcard' said the cunt CEO. Green handed over his Clubcard as the CEO cut it up...

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,138

So did he say the url out loud like that or did he just show Falco the article on his phone?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,156

@previous (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)
He shouted out the URL.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.4 years ago, 22 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,158

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)

How did Falco read the article? Was it osmosis? I am driven to understand the characters

Also they're only banning the little lunchbox cartons of Ribena, you can still buy the big bottles of it

(Edited 44 seconds later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,501

@previous (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)

He used his iPhone and KL has an inbuilt internets.

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 15 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,502

Unanticipatedly, hipsters surronded the Tesco. 'Surrender, Falco and Green' said a voice. Green clenched his fists 'Jan'. Jan smiled as he ate his vegan pasty, 'the very same'. Out of nowhere, juggalos appeared. 'Tesco Value Cider is banned, but have some Faygo' said a voice. 'Nexus!' roared Falco, barely containing his rage, 'you ran over my doge!'. Nexus chortled, 'there is no way out of this, surrender and join the SJW Alliance. Green threw Falco a tin of bins. 'Last chance, surrender or die!' yelled Jan. 'Fuck 'em' said Green as he and Falco ate the beans. 'ROCKETPOOTS!' shouted the duo as their poots propelled them into the SJW alliance. KL began to kill hipsters with a single punch and turned into soft-light mode before switching back to hard-light as he started ripping hearts out. 'Insert girder' said McWalterbot. Despite their valiant efforts, the party were soon overwhelmed...

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 2.4 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,503

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Oh no!!! Could this be the end for our valiant heroes?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.4 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,507

All of a sudden, Green heard the revving of engines. 'What is it?' asked Falco, 'dragons?'. Out of nowhere s gang of an bikers appeared and started clothes-lining hipsters and juggalos. 'Is it...could it be..it is!'. Leading the charge were Postmortem and Ks, holding cheesewire and decapitating the

(Edited 6 minutes later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.4 years ago, 22 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,510

hipsters and juggalos. 'My tablet started having a seizure due to a bumpy ride, so I had to bend it a little to get it to work again' said Green. Nexus and Jan got into their airship and started to retreat with their armies. 'You may have won this round' shouted Jan, but you will never defeat the SJW Alliance!'. The hipsters and juggalos retreated. Postmortem became so excited that he got into a car and crashed it into Tesco...

Green !BEERiVqJJw triple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 21 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,724

'Ks, we must team up to defeat the SJWs' declared Green. Ks nodded, 'we shall be known as the Antisocial Injustice Defence Society' replied Ks. 'Smoke weed every day' added Falco. 'We need to get to America' said Green. The party hijacked a plane and flew to California. 'Lets stay in a hotel overnight' winked Postmortem and he hump his penis'. Green and Falco touching bums is all good and Postmortem and Ks snorted meth off of a lobster. The party went to sleep because they were tired...

Green !BEERiVqJJw quadruple-posted this 2.4 years ago, 8 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,730

'Where am I?' asked Green drearily, 'what is..what the..' he stuttered. Green was tied up with rainbow coloured skipping rope. 'Good morning' said a creepily familiar voice. 'Leonidas!' exclaimed Green, 'let me go, you sweaty autistic mess!'. Leonidas chuckled, 'snuufuu' he screeched as he flapped his arms, 'I'm afraid that is quite improbable. You are my hostage. Your ransom will be..' Leonidas laughed to himself, 'Salty. And I want you to sign your cider cartel over to me'. Green struggled against the rope, 'never!'. Leonidas shook his head, 'I have ways of making you break, Chris, prepare the Sonic X dvds'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.4 years ago, 32 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #584,736

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
> Chris
oh my fuck

is it Chris Chan himself???

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 3 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,761

'Oh noes, Green is missing ;(' cried Falco. The party looked in the minibar and all the cider was still there. 'Something bad has happened' said Ks. Suddenly Falco's iphone began ringing, 'hello, this is Leonoidas. We have Green. We will release him if you give us Salty. Snuufuu'. The party were panic. 'What do we do?' asked Postmortem frantically. KL was, 'the wizard will know where he is' he said...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,762

The party went to a MtG tournament. They entered and searched for Fake_anon. 'Right everyone, be on the lookout for the sexiest person here' said Ks. McWalterbot used his gaydar and found Fake_anon. He was winning, however, he used his yodel and forfeited the tournament. 'I DIN'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!' he shouted as he took a milkshake out of his yarmukle. 'NOOO!' said Ks as he dashed towards Fake_anon...

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,766

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Fuck!!! This is so intense.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,769

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)

What happened to the underscore in your name?

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 47 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,770

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
It's only there on irc.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,772

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
By god. This gay fanfic is ruined.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,774

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
No it is still good don't worry about it.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,776

Fake anon put the straw to his lips and began sucking. 'No, you'll explode!' cried out Postmortem. Ks pulled out his magnum and shot the milkshake. 'Are you crazy?' asked Ks. Fake anon's eyes overflowed with tears, 'I want to commit suicide and then kill myself because Yu-Gi-Oh! players stole my MtG cards'. 'Was the milkshake under $20?' asked KL. Ks scowled at KL and patted Fake anon on the back. 'Suicide is not the answer. Talk to someone, even me or phone the national suicide helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or in the UK The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We are here for you'...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,778

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Ha! KL's dialogue is always hilarious. :')

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 17 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,779

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
The fanfics shall be tackling more serious issues such as suicide, drug abuse and alcoholism, however, I want it to be light-hearted as well.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.3 years ago, 39 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #585,783

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Agreed, and I think you're striking that balance perfectly. The reader is forced to confront and ponder difficult issues, yet it's not forced and there are also chances to laugh.

So many writers get this wrong, but you seem to be managing just fine.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 19 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,105

'Do you know where Salty is?' asked Ks of Fake anon. 'I do not' sexy Mark replied. 'Fuck all of you!' Ks shouted as he pulled out his gun and started shooting peeps. 'Wait' Fake anon said, 'I have a plan'. Fake anon opened a crate and a man was standing inside, 'ninjj' said the man...

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,169

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)

Where was the crate prior?

Anonymous P joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 6 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,300

@586,105 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Yeah and how big was the crate
Do ninjj and salty get back together
We need to know

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 11 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,486

Ks lit up a stick of dynamite and blew up the crate, 'what is your plan?' he asked. 'It's not the size it's how you use it, I have just realized that you can say the word 'use' with different pronunciations depending on the definition. I do not know where Salty is, however, I think we should dress ninjj up as Salty to free the Greens' replied Fake anon. Ks nodded, 'lets rock'...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,752

'Sign me over your cider cartel!' chortled Leonidas. 'Never!' shouted Green. Green's spirit was broken from the Sonic X dvds, 'please, make it stop'. 'SNUUFUU!' roared Leonidas, 'ok, lets watch something different. Lets watch we have found your secret cider stash in the caves'. Green struggled against the restraints. Leonidas pushed a button and half of the cider blew up. 'Did I do that?' laughed Leonidas. 'I'LL TWAT YOU ONE!!!' bellowed Green. 'Sign your cider cartel over to me and I won't blow up anymore' Leonidas smirked. Green cried as he picked up a pen and put it to the paper...

brie joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 5 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,846

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Wow, when does the Can-D shipment arrive? Cider and Can-D Mixes crazy well.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 6 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,849

@previous (brie)
What is 'Can-D'? I only mix cider with more cider.

brie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 14 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,851

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
I mixed cider with coffee once. Can-D is an alternative to Chew-Z.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 52 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,852

@previous (brie)
And what is 'Chew-Z' lol?

brie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,854

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Chew-Z is a take from The 3 Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch. Thanks.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 5 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,955

Suddenly there was a knock on the basement door. 'Chris, answer that' said Leonidas. Suddenly, Leonidas was overcome with super-autism. 'Salty, it's you!' sang Leonidas. 'Ninjj' replied Salty. 'Something is up' retorted Leonidas. Leonidas licked Salty, 'this is sweet, not Salty'. Leonidas picked up a needle, 'do you know what this is?' he asked Green, 'it is a refined version of the autism virus. Not contagious but it is incurable'. He injected ninjj. 'Sonichu!' said ninjj, flapping his arms. Leonidas turned to Green, 'now sign over your cider cartel or-' he was interrupted by the shaking of the walls...

brie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #586,957

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
when is the next part coming out?!~

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,438

It was McWalterbot, his jackhammer penis making a hole in the wall. Ks shot the syringe out of Leonidas hand and Falco freed Green. Green shoved the Sonic X dvds up Leonidas' bum as Falco shat down his throat. 'We need to stop the transgender bill' said Postmortem. The party got into Postmortem's car and drove to San Francisco. However, the party was too late. Obama signed the transgender bill of rights. 'America is now under the control of Queen Vocalon!' cheered Obama...

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,440

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Gasp! So vocalon is the main villain??? By golly, I did not see this coming!

brie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,442

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
I didn't see anything coming this time!

brie double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 40 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,443

@previous (brie)
*couch cough*

It's a small world, but I wouldnt want to paint it.

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 12 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,452

'I hereby form an alliance between the hipsters, emos, juggalos and my transgender army' declared Vocalon, 'this world will be a world of social justice, if you upset anyone or criticize anyone's way of life, you will be put to death. Any objections?' smirked Vocalon. 'We object!' said Falco and Green approaching the podium. Vocalon laughed, 'look, it's the coservative shitlords. Why are you objecting this law? You are both gay'. Falco and Green were overcome with extreme shock and they were rubbing bums and penis, 'we are not gay!' shouted Green, 'THE BALLS NEVER TOUCHED!' added Falco. Vocalon just brushed them aside, 'we'll see how cocky you are when you and the rest of minichan are overwhelmed by my tumblrites'...

Anonymous R joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,466

xenal sex

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 14 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,622

After Part 1, the minichanfic will be moved to a new thread.

brie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,665

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)

> After Part 1, the minichanfic will be moved to a new thread.

QFT

(Edited 27 seconds later.)

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #587,741

'Being this obsessed with fanfics' said a voice, 'i'm thinking..wendys' said another. The party were full of relief, 'the tinychanners are here!' cheered Ks enthusiastically. The transgenders opened fire and all hell broke loose. Green and Falco shat all over the Transgender Bill of Rights and were going to shit on Vocalon, however he had vanished during the commotion. Obama was making a run for it, 'Green, Falco, you chase Obama, we'll hold the SJWs back' shouted Ks. Falco and Green darted through the crowd, chasing Obama up a tall building. The duo caught up with Obama on the top floor, 'it's a dead end' spoke Green, 'nowhere to go, we have you cornered, this is the end of the line. Why did you this things?'. Obama laughed, 'this is the reason why' he said as he took off his mask. 'Moot!' gasped Falco...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 1 day later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,227

The minions and tinions were taking a thrashing from the SJW and tumblrite forces. Ks gunned as many hipsters down with his AK-47 as he could. 'Being this obsessed with life' said the doctor as he took a fatal stabbing from a juggalo. The battle was nearing the end and the doomful fate of the minions sealed, but suddenly there was a roaring, 'TO THE GATES OF MORDOR!' shouted a voice. 'It's the nerds!' exclaimed Postmortem, 'Fake anon is leading them into battle!' added KL. The nerds began to use their bags of marbles to make the SJW fall on the floor. The nerds were turning the tide of battle, however the war was just beginning...

Anonymous S joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 15 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,499

needs more BERT..

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 9 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,500

'Moot, why have you betrayed us?' asked Green. Moot guffawed, 'I was sick of the cancer that was anonymous and the whole userbase. I sold off 4chan to tumblr and SJWs and they let me suck some sweet cock'. Green shook his head, 'what happened to you, you used to be about soup. 4chan used to be a cool place to chill with bros and have freedom of speech. Now it's all about rate me, you laugh you lose and dick threads'. Moot laughed, 'fuck you. Zoe, deal with them'. Moot shot out a grappling hook down to another building and zip lined down it. 'You cis shitlords have met your developer!' screamed Zoe Quinn. Falco was terrificfied, 'what do we do', Green pulled something out of his bag, 'no, it can't be!' murmured Falco. 'Yes', said Green, 'it's the Power Glove'...

brrie joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 6 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,501

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
power glove.... power piece of shit!

Anonymous U joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,512

@588,500 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
You have surprisingly good sentence structure

brrie replied with this 2.3 years ago, 36 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,518

@previous (U)
lolololol

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 3 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,567

The party were pushing the SJW forces back but tragedy struck. Ks heard a gunshot and a shout. He turned around to see blood gushing from Postmortem's chest. Nexus stood over him laughing. Ks charged at Nexus and ripped his head off with his bare hands. 'John, speak to me' said Ks frantically. A tear left Postmortem's eye, 'it was gr8, all the stuff we did. Our meth empire. But it looks like my time is over. There is no room in this world for gods'. Tears started streaming down Ks' face, 'stay with me John, please. You still have a lot more to experience'. Postmortem started gasping for breath, but he managed to light a cigarette and start smoking, 'these things didn't kill me. Tell my fiancee I love her' said Postmortem as he exhaled his final breath...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 9 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,570

Ks ripped a door of a car and rampaged right into the juggalos, using it as a shield. He bashed their heads. A juggalo managed to shoot Ks' knee, but this didn't stop Ks' stampede. Suddenly. a pickup truck crashed into a group of hipsters, 'howdy y'all, I love steak!' said Meta as he blew the heads off of hipsters with his shotgun. 'Did someone say trannies?' said Kook as she blew up transgenders with an RPG'. 'Fuckalms' said Fuckalms as Fuckalms threw grenades. The battle was almost won...

brie !uXWPG0MygI replied with this 2.3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,574

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Wow, the battle that never ends has finally ended... once and for all?

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,575

'You fools and your retro shit won't stop me!' snarled Zoe, 'indie developers are the future of gaming. Nintendo is finished. All gaming will be done on tablets and phones! Even your precious Pokemon is being replaced by the superior Micromon'. Green clenched his fist in his Power Glove, 'I am a Pokemon Master. As long as people want to catch them all, Pokemon will never die'. Green started shooting fireballs at Zoe as she summoned more Indie game developers. Green threw a leaf at Falco and he transformed into a tanooki, whipping the game developers with his tower. Green and Falco gripped hands, 'Nintendo Power!' they shouted as they twatted the game developers. Falco took out his Tetris cartridges and shoved it up Zoe's arse. 'She'll be shitting bricks later. Onwards, to Moot!' said Green...

brie !uXWPG0MygI replied with this 2.3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,577

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
retro cartridges cannot and will not ever stop the future from happening at the very moment it decides it is ready to occur.

brrie !uXWPG0MygI joined in and replied with this 2.3 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,628

So what if the Nintendo brand empire had collapsed for the last time?
If you even wanted to decide on this approach why don't you just spill a little water on the floor!?
Terrorism is terribly bad for you to behold even on this most excellent august weather we're having.
Totally not related is that in other news we're going to be having an earthquake! Soon the destruction will begin and you tell me what else you need to know? Send it another time maybe if you wanted a totally tubular experience toading the wet sprocket, man!

brrie !uXWPG0MygI double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,629

@previous (brrie !uXWPG0MygI)
"Goodbye World, said the Minnie"

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 27 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,637

@588,628 (brrie !uXWPG0MygI)
Um, ok.

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,649

@previous (Green !BEERiVqJJw)

why am i never in your stories

brrie !uXWPG0MygI replied with this 2.3 years ago, 31 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,654

@588,637 (Green !BEERiVqJJw)
Nevermind.

killer lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 2.3 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,657

@588,649 (The Owl !KThEOwLwbU)
You were in the Marsden arc. You pretended to join the Marsdens because they were communist, but you were actaully still loyal to Minichan.

(Edited 27 seconds later.)

The Owl !KThEOwLwbU replied with this 2.3 years ago, 12 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,769

@previous (killer lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)

Oh I see

Objection withdrawn then

Green !BEERiVqJJw replied with this 2.3 years ago, 35 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,771

Green and Falco used the Power Glove to zip line down to the ground. They saw Moot get on a motorcycle and ride off. Green and Falco took out their uzis and stopped a car. 'Official minichan business' Green said as he forced the driver out of the car. Green and Falco chased Moot through the winding streets. 'He's headed for the docks!' exclaimed Falco. Green and Falco cut him off at the docks, but Moot had already got on a speedboat. Green and Falco commandeered a speedboat and took the chase to the water. Green shot several rounds at Moot, narrowly missing his ear. Moot shot back and hit Green in the shoulder. Suddenly, the duo heard a whirring. Their boat was barraged by bullets. 'Shit, it's Vocalon'. The boat caught fire. Vocalon was flying his helicopter dangerously close to the duo's boat. 'I've got a Vocalock on!' laughed Vocalon vindictively. Vocalon fired missiles at the boat and the boat exploded...

Green !BEERiVqJJw double-posted this 2.3 years ago, 4 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #588,837

'We're alive?' asked Green, amazed. They were on a surfboard. 'Thee thy or eye RE: RE: safe' said a man. 'It can't be!' said Falco, 'it is! Syntax!'. Green commanded Syntax to chase after Moot, however, Vocalon was still on their tail. Syntax handed Green a phone and Green phoned Qualcomm. Qualcomm directed a satellite at Vocalon's chopper and struck it down, leading it to be wrecked in the ocean. Syntax approached Moot's boat and Green and Falco jumped on board. Falco immediately bitch-slapped Moot. Moot started to retaliate back. Moot reached into his pocket and took out a penknife and stabbed Green in the chest, before throwing him overboard. 'NO!' cried Falco. Falco took the tail dildo out of his arse and rammed it down Moot's throat. Moot struggled, but eventually went limp. Falco stopped the boat and Syntax halted beside him with the body of Green. He passed Green to Falco and held him in his arms. 'No pulse' cried Falco, 'he's dead'...
END OF PART ONE
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