walts sekret swimming techniqu joined in and replied with this 4 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^][v]#413,423
OK, first you bite down on a very, very long hose; with the other end firmly attached to something above the water. you then try to dogpaddle off the deep end, but since your so fucking fat, you sink like a rock, oblivous to any lift you generate with your pudgy arms and legs. thats okay though, cause hopefully your airhose is still attached above water. you then roll across the bottom of the pool like some kind of self-propelled boulder straight out of an indiana jones-type movie/skit till the effort of moving against the force of the water tires your non-hydrodynamic body out. you then rest for awhile before beginning the epic trek up the slope and into the shallow end and rest a bit more from your herculean journey before climbing up the stairs/ladder.